GHOUL CLUB

on the move

2011-10-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

so i've been journaling on evernote for the past couple of months haha. lots of prayers and pouring out of my heart to God. lots of struggles and doubts. lots of hurts and wants. lots of crying out for God to move. and he's been moving. =] right now, i'm part of a church plant in fountain valley and he is moving. this sunday is going to be our fourth week and God has been blessing the fellowship. he's bringing people who don't know Christ, who used to come to church, and Christ followers who want to be a part of something bigger. God's been blessing the tuesday night community group. we're focusing on the scriptures and learning about what God has in store for us rather than me trying to figure out what we have in store for each other haha.

God's been maturing my faith in loving people who don't know the Gospel. i've been listening to an amazing artist named baths. he is super talented and really gifted in making beautiful electronic music. i've been listening to him non-stop in my car and on my laptop. thuy even got me tickets to see him in december! but recently i found out something about him that kind of turned me off to his music. it was something that has turned me off to people in general when i find it out about them. and in general and short, it was sin. and i was like, "man, i shouldn't be listening to this guy's music anymore." and God convicted me. i didn't want to listen to him because of this thing. but i'm able to listen to countless other artists who are in the same boat as baths. what should make this guy's sin any different from other artists'? more than that, what should make this guy's sin any different from my own?? we're all on the same side. the human side. the side that messes up and ends up being far from God. in the end, baths is just like a lot of other artists that i love. in need of Jesus. they need to meet Jesus. they need to learn about how much God loves them and cares about them. how he wants them to come home. how much God is chasing after them.

these past couple of months have been of tremendous growth for me. just growing up in faith and in life, which are kind of intertwined haha. but learning that i can't have the same kind of life that i had when i was a teenager. so free from responsibilities and dreaming about the future. i'm living in that future now! i'm set to graduate this coming spring and get a job and start saving money to get married, to grow up. it's been sad but good haha. sad knowing that i'm leaving an amazing chapter or section of the short book of my life and turning the page onto a new, exciting chapter. =]

i've been praying for a lot of professors and classmates at school. if you didn't know already, csuf is a pretty secular school and especially so in the sciences. at least for psychology, anyway. there's lots of opposition and kind of a stand-offish attitude when christianity or religion in general is brought up. and this has been huge in building up my faith. learning that i shouldn't be surprised by the persecution. learning that people will be turned off to the Gospel, some will be open to it, but there will be people that just don't like the message or like me because of it. been beefing up apologetics and prayer! praying for God to soften and open up hearts. praying that i could be a disarming person in being able to engage them about faith and life. and just have real, authentic, non-threatening conversation about Jesus. =]

i've also been learning to keep my eyes on Jesus. seems redundant to say. seems repetitive to say. but a constant reminder that i need in my life. especially when school, work, friends, ministry, distractions come along. it's hard to keep Jesus at the center when i've got so many things that are piling up on my plate! learning again to look to Jesus first before looking at all the problems or just things to do in general. for example, i have a research paper due this coming thursday. usually, i would look at it and dread. knowing the amount of time i'm going to have to spend cooped up in a library working on this thing, worrying about whether it will be good or not, complaining that the information isn't even going to be used by me, writing and re-writing pages, etc. but if i look at Jesus first. well, it becomes a different story! i look at Jesus and i see my purpose on this earth. and particularly, right now in college. i want to help people. these are just some of the things that i have to go through to get there. it becomes necessary on my road to helping people to know about Jesus Christ! it becomes something that i'm not really "glad" to do, but know that the result doesn't end there. in the form of a 5-6 page paper that's due for my learning and memory class. it's an investment in a life that blesses others in my work and life. that blesses the people i come in contact with at the office, friends that i'm able to bless with an income, family who i'm able to take care of, and those who i don't even know that i'm able to bless because i finish this paper. =]

the verse that i've been fixating on lately is from colossians 2, verses 6 and 7. "and now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." i've just been learning to remember that it's not through works, through ritualistic prayers, through just feeling sorry for myself that i get salvation. i'm coming back to the 19-year-old me. coming back to the basics. that everything that i do is a response to Jesus. i overflow with thankfulness. and that thankfulness comes in the form of loving people in my speech, my thoughts, my actions. but i've been focusing so much on the "overflow" that i forget about what i need to do first! i need to let my roots grow down into him, Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior! i need to let my life be built on him! not on actions. not on ideals! i need to be connected to the true vine, the giver of life, the savior of the world. i need to be connected to Jesus! and the thankfulness comes naturally out of that.

it comes back to the basis of the Christian faith. we don't do things because it's required of us. we do things as a natural overflow of our love for Jesus. we do things because it's God's heart in us. because we see what he sees. because we're connected with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, we do things differently. we live differently. we have hope differently. we have joy differently. we die differently. we die to ourselves. because we're made alive in Christ, who sacrificed his life for us on the cross. who rose from the dead and by this action, lets us know that God is here and he is on the move and is coming back again. in the meantime, we want to let people know about this good news. Jesus died, rose, ascended, and is coming back. God loves us and wants us. and even though not everyone will want to receive it, just like we learn about a great new mediterranean restaurant, just like we see an amazing movie, just like when we just got hired for a new job, just like when we're head over heels in love, we want to let the world know. =]

free love

2011-05-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

dang. been a while. where to start? God's been doing so much these past two months. so much has happened and i don't know if i can write it all out i'll try to recap everything i can remember. here goes. =]

well, in the beginning of march, we all went to this hillsong concert but i felt dry. i felt like i couldn't "feel" God, and if i didn't feel God, there must be something wrong with me or God isn't really there, you know? next morning, i hit a huge spiritual low and i was super lost. i ended up hiking at irvine regional park, which, by the way, is a beautiful place. =] i hiked around for about 5 hours, listening to the new hillsong album and marveling at creation and remembering that God made all of that and then spent all this time on me and cares about me more than all of the trees, birds, lakes, mountains, etc. i found a little tree where i sat under and i started reading the gospel of mark. i finally got to the part where Jesus was in the garden before He was about to get turned in by Judas and He was asking His disciples to just stay awake with Him as He was praying to the Father. all He needed was for His friends to stay awake with Him because He was in so much pain and anguish because He knew what was going to happen to Him in the next couple of hours. that was the part that got me.

Jesus knew what was coming soon. He knew the torture and the pain that He was going to endure. He was asking God if there was something else He could do, some other way. but there wasn't. but did Jesus run away? no. did He change His mind? no. He chose His Father's will over His. He loved the Father. and He loved us. He marched right up to the soldiers that were searching for Him and turned Himself in. when He was given chances to free Himself and say He was anyone other than who He said He was, He spoke boldly that He was the Son of God. even before pilate, Jesus stood His ground and told the governor that he had no power over Him other what God had given him. willfully, sacrificially, lovingly, Jesus laid down His body to be beaten, tortured, spit on, trampled on, mocked at, so that we could be free from our sin. so that we could be free from what separates us from God. He did all of this for us. for me.

wow. what love. the cross had meaning to me again. not because of some music concert. not because of some church rally. not because of a really good sermon. it was because i was spending time with God, learning again about what Jesus for me that day. i was rejuvenated not by some act of man, but simply by reading His Word and spending time with Him. i found strength again. after hiking, a couple of us went to rock harbor to see john mark mcmillan. john was sharing about carbon ribs and what it was based on. the story of mephibosheth. king david loved his best friend, jonathan. so when jonathan died, david wanted to bless his family somehow. so he sent people to found any blood relatives of jonathan. and they found mephibosheth. the only thing was, mephibosheth was dropped as a child and consequently broke his legs. so he was a cripple. so he didn't understand what the king wanted to do with him. he said that he was nothing but a dead dog to him. he couldn't work, he couldn't be of any help. but still david invited him to eat at his table. john mark then shared about how he felt that he was a cripple because of something he had nothing to do with, but because of who his father was, he got to sit at the seat of honor, next to the king.

man. i'm born into this weary and broken world. and i've been broken and made weary by such a world. i had nothing to do with it. i couldn't have done anything. how could i have known? but because of who my father is. i get to sit at the seat of honor. i'm loved because my father is the Father. my father is the God of love, the God who chases, who redeems, who saves. i can't do anything for Him. He doesn't need my money, He doesn't need my services, He doesn't need my songs, He doesn't need anything that i have to offer. but He wants me. He calls me His own, His son. He freely calls me that. what a love that is. i've never experienced anything like it before. i don't think a lot of people do.

there's so much more, but i'll cap it off for now and i'll fill in more of the blanks soon. but just from this, i remember my mission again. to let people know that there is love that doesn't demand anything of them. yes, as Christ followers, God wants us to pick up our crosses, but He doesn't love us any less if we're struggling with it, if we get side tracked, if we take a super long time to figure it out. He loves us regardless!! He didn't die for the people who are willing to work for it. He died for the Christ followers and He died for those who don't even know Him yet! His love is free! We just need to accept it! what joy it is to know the comfort and peace of Jesus Christ! people need to know about Him!

waste and hope

2011-03-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

whew. i know i haven't blogged in a while but i've been busy! just finished reading 2 kings after starting in 1 samuel. and man, it's heartbreaking. king after king after king. failure after failure after failure. turning away from God time and again.

here's one thing that really stuck out to me today. as the babylonians were taking away the objects from the temple of God, the objects that were made with so much love and effort, i felt loss. i thought, "what a waste." these things that solomon put so much work into. these objects that adorned the Lord's temple and showed how amazing He was. simply knocked down and carried off to be used as trophies. i felt an attachment. there was a history to those pieces of the temple. and i can't help but think that this was a little bit of how God felt. pain and loss. after all the work put into His people to bless them and guide them, they ended up leaving Him and destroying themselves. only to be exiled. He loved His people. He wanted to bless them. all they had to do was keep themselves from idols. time and again He showed how faithful He was to them. only to have them adopt pagan gods.

it's like a bad relationship. you give and give and give only to have the other person cheat on you. and the other person keeps on coming back but continues to cheat again and again. you'd think that He would have given up on them. but no. He still chased after them. there's hope at the end of 2 kings. david's bloodline continues on. God had something planned.

you'd think that He would give up on us. but He didn't. He loved us. He was jealous for us. He chased after us. so much so that He sent His son to live on this earth and die a horrifying death so that we could be saved from His wrath and justice. it's amazing. but we still turn our backs on Him from time to time.

you'd think that He would give up on us! but He doesn't. He loves us. He's jealous for us. He chases after us. Jesus's blood covers everything that would disqualify us from being in relationship with God! His sacrifice washed all of that away! there is reason to rejoice! my God loves me beyond all understanding. there is hope in the name of Jesus! even after all of my wandering and turning away from God, Jesus's blood makes me white as snow and whole again! God is so good! people need to know this story. this love story is too good to pass up! =]

preferences

2011-02-08T09:15:00.001-08:00

late friday night. saturday night. sunday night. monday afternoon. again and again, God's been confirming something and letting me know what's on His heart. sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. not just of finances, but of my life. sacrifice of my preferences, my desires, my comfort. confirmed through a couple of people i know and then confirmed at rock harbor, i can't deny that this is something that God wants me to invest in.

it's a call to die to myself. i'm comfortable. like, really comfortable now. i enjoy who i hang out with. a lot. we share, we laugh, we bond and it's amazing. God's truly blessed it. but the scary thing about it, i fear that i'm hogging it to myself. and other people are left wanting. when i hang out, who do i always turn to and run to because i know that i'll have a good time? God's challenging me to step out of that. when i hang out, who do i need to ask so that they feel at home? who do i want to hang out with because i want to show them that i truly care about them. when i want to chill, who do i want to showcase God's love to??

when we do this, when we put aside our preferences and what we would like, we open the door to showcase Christ's love to the people in our lives. we let them know that even though we may not prefer eating at this certain place or do this certain thing, we're there not for ourselves. we're there for them. genuinely and truly just there for them. and that speaks volumes. to let them know that they don't have to do anything, they don't have to impress us, entertain us to earn our love and affection. we want to let them know that they are unconditionally loved just because. and they'll ask, "who does this??" and again, we answer, "Jesus." =]

rebuke and growth

2011-02-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

i thank God for a girlfriend who can call me out. and not in a, "i'm better than you, do what i say," whiplash sound, kind of way haha. i know that i'm not the best person at receiving constructive criticism let alone rebuke from my girlfriend so you can imagine how defensive i got and how much i justified my actions. i was sitting in the car for a while before i acknowledged anything she said! i know, it's terrible! but i really appreciate how she approached the situation and how she prayed about it beforehand. it made it a lot easier for me to accept the rebuke and pray over it. God broke down my heart and let me know that these were things that I needed to hear to make me a better man and a better leader.

i know i don't say it enough but i'm really proud of thuy and how she's grown over the past couple of years. i'm so blessed to have her in my life. she keeps me in check and she's learning how to do so full of love so that we don't get into arguments over things that we shouldn't! i praise for a relationship that is grounded and rooted in Him. i just keep praying that i can love her the same way Christ loves the church. the way He gave Himself for the church, i want to give myself away for thuy. He's the reason why i want to humble myself for her, why i don't get as t.o.'d when certain things happen, why i'm patient the way i am. and the same for her to me! i honestly don't think that we really could have gotten this far if it wasn't for God teaching how to die to ourselves and love each other the way we do. =]

satisfaction and contentment

2011-02-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

this past sunday night we were talking about contentment at rock harbor. paul was sharing with the philippians how he was thankful and gave praise to God that they finally remembered and sent him money and supported him after 10 years of traveling. he wasn't angry or sad or sarcastic when he thanked them. he was genuinely thankful because his circumstance did not dictate his joy. he shared that he's been filled and he's been empty, wealthy and poor, and he had found the secret to being content in all things. his joy, his life, his heart was found not in people or this world, but simply in God. and that was enough for him.

it brings me back to psalm 23, one of my favorite verses. "the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want." it's not saying that because God is my shepherd, i shouldn't want. it's not saying that because God is watching out for me, i should respond by trying not to want anything. it's simply saying that because my God loves me, takes care of me, watches over me, showers blessings on me (may not always be the ones that i necessarily feel are blessings =]), gives me hope, gives me belonging, gives me identity, i am content. i am not in need of anymore. because of my salvation, i have everything i need. everything else, all the little details, or big details, are secondary to that first thing. if i have Jesus, i'm set for not just life, but for eternity. what a profound statement, right??

and i know i've talked about this before but i feel like it's slowly creeping back into my mind that i don't have enough. i don't have enough respect. i don't have enough love. i don't have enough money. i don't have a good enough phone. i don't have a good enough car. i don't, i don't, i don't. but the thing is, i forget that i have everything i need in Jesus. if i lost everything, family, home, friends, i would still be set because i have Him. not saying that it wouldn't be painful that those things could be taken away. but my joy is something that is stronger than circumstance. that's what paul was trying to get at. no matter what the circumstance, rich or poor, peace or hostility, resting or weary, he had contentment, he had joy because God was with Him. my God is with me. and i don't need anything else. i shall not want. that's part of the good news that we want to share with people! a lot of us are so caught up in working for something more to find ourselves ultimately dissatisfied. and we keep digging and digging and working and working only to find that everything we invest in fades away in the end. without God, there is no contentment. we never satisfy ourselves. the world never satisfies.

only He can satisfy! contentment is knowing God! sometimes, it's just hard to explain. the peace and the calm in my heart that comes from knowing that He loves and saves. our God is good and worthy to be praised. i want people to be satisfied finally after searching for so long. He was here all along. He's still here waiting for us to find our satisfaction in Him.

worship

2011-01-30T08:31:00.000-08:00

got to talk to a friend about God last night. there's something about talking about God that fills you with joy, you know? and sometimes, the only response after talking about how amazing, good, sacrificial, loving, merciful, gracious, giving, awesome He is simply worship. =]

the biggest thing about our talk last night was just about how the law brings awareness to sin. without the law, the moral code, we wouldn't really have a tangible standard we can measure our goodness by. something we can look at and see how close we are to being as holy as God is. the kicker is when we actually start looking at how we really compare to God and His holiness, we're way, way off. like, lightyears off. so off that the Bible even compares all of our good deeds as dirty rags, or to be graphic and illustrate the point dirty tampons, compared to God's glory and holiness!

i mean, we look at the ten commandments itself and we start failing at number one and it doesn't get much prettier after that! and it starts hitting us. if this is the standard that we have to live by to be saved, we're in a lot of trouble. i mean, this really sucks. how is anybody supposed to keep this up?? how is anybody able to really uphold this moral code, day in and day out, perfectly, without falter?? we're doomed, right? there's no possible way we can be saved now! it's over! done with! it's impossible!

enter Jesus. enter the perfect man. enter the sinless man. enter the saving God. into our sin, He broke out of heaven and crashed down into this weary place. in a desperate and hurting world, He began to live the perfect life so that one day, this life would then be put to death on a cross for our sake. spit on, rejected, beaten to a pulp, mutilated, humiliated, to take the punishment for our sins. where we couldn't uphold the law and were condemned to spend eternity separated from God, Jesus came in and sacrificed Himself so that we could be made righteous and blameless before the Holy God. this is the Gospel. this is the good news. we're not condemned anymore. we're not confined to our sin and our shameful condition. we're not bound down by the law but released by the blood of Jesus Christ. sin is no longer our burden because He's lifted it off of us with His scarred hands. thank goodness for Jesus. =]

i believe in Jesus and i follow Him not just because He loves me, not just because He gives me joy and peace, but ultimately because He saves me. He gives me salvation. He lets me in on eternity with God even though i've really done nothing to deserve it. even though i've failed miserably, He saved me. this shows that He loves me. this shows that He's merciful and full of grace. and because of my salvation, joy and peace are the fruits. i'm gentle and i'm kindhearted, i'm patient and faithful because He's saved me. this is my worship. the natural response to this kind of love is simply worship. =]

evidence and love

2011-01-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

thank God for friendships that are stronger than pride and ego. i got in an argument with a friend last night. totally uncalled for on my part. it didn't need to turn out like that. when it was over i felt empty, like we didn't even get anywhere and our relationship was a little bit shaken because of it. it's not like either of us budged from where we stood before. we just became more entrenched in the view that we held so strongly. and the only thing that changed was the tension in the room, the heaviness of our hearts, and the burden on our shoulders, at least for mine anyway!

but thank God for something deeper than that. where other people would ignore it, move on, sweep it under the rug, we apologized to each other. thank goodness for a love that is bigger than ourselves. thank goodness that we have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, transforming us, showing our hearts the right way to go. i'm so glad that we apologized to each other and we both humbled ourselves. we know that our relationship is more important than the argument. in itself, this situation, our relationship, glorifies God and showcases Jesus. =]

i've been reading a lot of apologetics lately. like, a lot haha. and i thought about something, about how atheists would tell me that i can't trust christian writing because it's biased. that makes total sense! that's a valid argument. but i have to propose to them as well how they can trust atheistic writing or agnostic writing because that in itself is biased and starts from a different point! we start from the God's word and they start from man's word! same thing with the history of the world. pre-believers will suggest that our world is millions of years old due to the sedimentary rock layers, it just makes sense! right? well, that's if you start from that point! if you start from the Bible, if you believe that there was a flood, it makes total sense that there would be those sedimentary rock layers there! (http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/nab2/how-old-is-the-earth) (http://www.alwaysbeready.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=122&Itemid=105) keep in mind again that these are christian sources! the very sources that our atheistic friends say we shouldn't trust!!

it all depends on where you want to start! as a christian, i want to start from the Bible, because the world makes sense to me from there! as atheists, our friends will want to start from brilliant and out-of-the-box thinkers and that's fine! but as for us as christians, i want us to have solid ground to stand on when we explain to our friends why we believe what we believe! even if they don't understand sometimes, agree completely, or trust our sources (because it doesn't support what they believe and are entrenched in)! i want us to be sure that there is support for why we believe. we have good reasons, logically speaking, even if it doesn't match up with what they say! you don't have to be intellectually challenged to be a christian.

here's the point. no matter how much evidence and reasoning we provide for our faith, our atheist friends will want to refute it no matter how logical the argument may seem! because they're already sure of what they want to believe in and they'll find any way to have it line up with their belief system. we're the same way when they present things to us! therefore, evidence never really changes anyone's mind! we or they just try to come up with more research and reasons to support what we or they believe the next time we meet!

here's the kicker, we were never asked to bring people to God through evidence!! we bring people to God by showing God's love for them! by showcasing His patience, mercy, grace, and love in our selves to our friends. we overflow and overwhelm them in love that is illogical, stupid, out of this world, and purely nonsensical! that's how we win people over. not through war, blood, and the sword, but by the laying down of our own lives, our prides, and our statuses. and they're won over. God enters their brokenness, their hurt, their pain, their scars, their fear, through all the walls that they've built up around themselves. they let Him into their heart and surrender. they then start from the Bible. they then start from where God has come into their lives. the world makes more sense. much more than before. and i want them to have support for what they now believe. i want them to see the clues of God all throughout history. i want them to see how God has been waiting for them this entire time. =]

age

2011-01-27T07:58:00.000-08:00

i always get really sad when i see older folks. i was hanging out at thuy's house with her family last night and saw her grandparents. her grandma recently had a stroke and so the muscles in her face have been on the fritz. so she has one side of her face lifted up and the other side drooping down. she said that it happened instantly. that when she was eating a week ago and the rice started falling out of her mouth. she went into the restroom to see what was up and she saw her face in the state it is now. now if it was me, i would freak out. i wouldn't have any idea what was wrong. i would feel so helpless. not knowing what was going on with me. i would feel self-conscious. i would feel so scared.

and i thought to myself we're all going to be there someday. 60 years, 70 years down the line. i wondered to myself, would i be that old man who reminisced on these days. the days of my youth? the days of my passion? the days when the world was ready to be taken over? would i regret my life and what i spent doing with it? i get scared that one day i would go to sleep with this face i'm typing with now and wake up one morning to find gray hair and wrinkles. i would wake up to a body that's falling apart, suffering from arthritis, a weak back and knees. it made me really sad. it made me scared. i don't want to grow old. sometimes, i think i'm going to be young forever. flash, and i'm 30. flash again, i'm 50. flash, i'm on my deathbed.

we all get old. we all get weaker. we all age. we all fade. eventually, we leave this place.

but then i think about it again. and i have hope. that these weak bodies bound by gravity and oxygen aren't the end for us. as christians, we have a hope beyond these bodies. thank God there's more to look forward to beyond this life! this life is so short! there just isn't enough time!

isn't enough time to tell people about the hope of Jesus Christ! there isn't enough time to let people in on the master plan of the redemption of mankind! there isn't enough time to let people know that they are loved and longed for! that becomes my hope as well.

i don't want to be a complacent old man. i don't want to be that man who is sad and reminisces about his youth. i want to be filled with passion 70 years from now. i want to be filled with passion and a heart for the lost. i want to be filled with the Spirit still and let people know that they are loved. i will still have a purpose for living. i still want to be saving people for Jesus. my work is never done here on this earth. until Jesus comes back, my purpose in this life is to love as many people as i can, to tell them about Jesus, and to teach them how to do the same. =]

questions

2011-01-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

man, praise God! prayers that i've been praying for a while are being answered. i've been praying for two friends for a while and recently, God has been really tugging on their hearts. they're saying things that they've never said before, feeling like they've never felt before, acknowledging God in their lives like never before. i've prayed so hard and so long for these friends to really fall in love with God and become sold out for Him. i see an actual transformation in the way that they speak and share. it's so exciting!

we also got to pray over a friend last night. we had the opportunity to pray that he would be filled with courage and boldness in speaking truth in love to people and also making peace with another person.

we also went through amos last night with the worship team and it was powerful. we were drawing out so much more than i thought we would! it was really cool to get everyone's interpretations in about what God is saying to us through amos. here are some questions we left with:

do we bring idols into our worship? do we worship not only God? what is it that's sharing His throne in our lives?

do we think extra prayer will cover us? when we mess up, do we do extra good things because we think it will make up for what we've done? do we think religion saves us? do we see this in our church? do we see people doing good things because they believe it saves them?

are we willing to step out in faith and take on the role of amos? to speak truth in love? knowing full well that the raw truth is rarely popular?

is God trying to get our attention? is He throwing out signs that He wants us to come back to Him?

do we remember who He is in our lives? do we remember that He's the Lord? that He should be the one running our lives? do we remember that He's the Lord God of Heaven's Armies and could call down His angels any time He wants to but chooses not to? do we remember that He is the mighty God who wants to have a relationship with these people, with us? do we remember?

it was a really cool study last night. God was present. =]

i can't wait for this weekend for the team to share these stories with the congregation and lead them in worship out of vulnerability! God's moving!

not afraid to love

2011-01-23T09:31:00.000-08:00

just read the psalms and came across this verse:

"be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!"

that's from psalm 31, verse 24. for some reason, i winced when reading that. i had this feeling of failure. that i worry so much about what people think of me. i worry so much about rejection sometimes that i shy away from the Gospel. i hide the good news because i fear what people will brand me as. my heart doesn't take courage. i become a coward lots of times. i don't acknowledge the one i love. it's like not admitting i have a girlfriend when she's right there. that's how it feels! and in another sense, i'm unloving to the people i don't share the Gospel with!

then i thought to myself. "i'm doing this out of my own strength again!" i shouldn't be focusing so much on what people think of me! i shouldn't be so fixated on my weakness! but i should be holding onto His strength in me. His love in me! when i think about that, sharing about God becomes easy! it's not a chore or another task to do. it becomes about sharing life and love with someone else. it doesn't become a condescending sermon. but it becomes a conversation about what God is doing in my life, how He loves me, and how He wants to have a relationship with the other person as well! =]

my heart takes courage in the fact that He is with me always. it takes courage in the fact that i'm not sharing about a religion, but a relationship. i'm not sharing about a bunch of rules, but about a life of decisions motivated and driven by love. i'm not just sharing the Gospel. i'm sharing the story of love and redemption and restoration. i'm simply loving people when i do this. and i am not afraid to love. =]

the way

2011-01-23T00:22:00.000-08:00

i'm so glad that we're not just about having fun. i hope people see that too. that being a christian isn't just about hanging out, eating late, laughing, having a good time, etc. but it's so much more.

it's a lifestyle. a calling. a mission. a purpose. it's the way we drive. the way we buy coffee. the way we pay rent. the way we study. the way we work. the way we talk. the way we give. the way we stop to talk and share life with someone on the street. the way we have compassion on those who deserve none. it's the way we share our darkest secrets and at the same time receive prayer, encouragement, and support after sharing them. it's the way we approach each other when we have beefs with one another. the way we put love and unity first before ourselves. the way myself turns into ourselves. it's the way our actions and words are motivated by abundant, overwhelming, and overflowing love that comes from God and not ourselves. it's the way we call upon His name when we're hurting. it's the way we know and feel comfort and safety because He's our rock, shield, and fortress. it's the way we suffer together, cry together, love together, pull through together, share life together. it's the way we that even if we have nothing common, we are brothers and sisters in Christ. all bought by the same blood. all bought by the same scars. all redeemed by one man. all loved by one man. it's the way we want our lives to scream out JESUS. Jesus is the reason we live. the reason we're here. the reason why we're the way we are. =]

these are just some of the things about the way we are that set us apart. this is what makes us salt and light of the world. this is what the church is. different. radical. out of the ordinary. this is God's people. this is the way of the christians. =]

identity

2011-01-19T08:56:00.000-08:00

thank God for identity. even if all this time, i was pretending to be someone else and i didn't know who the real "me" was anymore, i would know that God wants to change that person to be more like Him anyway. my identity. my name. my heart. my life. is found in Jesus. it's not what i've earned for myself. it's not the personality traits that i choose to portray to other people. it's Jesus living in me, transforming me, taking my hand and pulling me along, making me into someone that resembles Him. that's who i want to be. that's who i strive to be. so that when people look at me, they don't see me anymore, but they see Christ in me.

how do i know that it's Him that's transforming me and not my own will? well, in order for Him to make me more and more like Him, He makes me do a bunch of things i never want to do. going out of my comfort zone. risking rejection. risking humiliation. risking status. is it for me? no. i don't think i do these things so i look better. or so that any benefit would come to me. but that people would see me and give praise to God. it's all for Him. i don't want any of the credit. that's how i know that it's Him that's transforming me. i know i'm a selfish person. i'm self-seeking. i want fame. i want glory. i want all the appreciation and recognition and praise that i deserve for doing things well. but for me to deny that for myself and give all that and point all of it back to God shows that it can't be me. i want to give God the credit He deserves for all that He's done for me.

my life is His and His alone. i give up the right to run my life to earn the privilege to have my life run by God. =]

the process

2011-01-18T07:43:00.000-08:00

last night, i got to catch up with a really amazing friend. we were able to air out frustrations, struggles, just heavy stuff that was on our hearts. we had church. praise God for that opportunity.

it was refreshing to have that again. to have church with someone one on one. to talk about life and God and everything inbetween. i want to make that a priority this year. in my head, i just keep on remembering that we're all made for relationship. for intimate connections with other people. that's how we grow. how we thrive. where we get recharged and filled up. i was telling my friend that it's not so much that deep conversations drain us and take a lot out of us, it actually does the reverse! it fills us up! compared to shallow relationships and just having fun all the time. having no intimate connections at all with people and settling for the small talk and nonsense conversations becomes more draining in the end. there's no substance. no meaning. no digging deeper to why someone is feeling the way they're feeling. no deeply convicting or revealing things that come out about yourself and the person you're sharing that conversation with. no room for God to move.

three things were made clear to me from the conversation that i had last night. that this year is really going to be about family for me. as in spending time with them, breaking down barriers with them, loving them through my actions. this year's also going to be about humility in all the areas of my life including worship, friendships, relationship, and wherever else God wants to move in me. and finally, this year will be challenging me to step out in faith. to really put my trust in God and let Him have the reins in my life. i really don't know where He'll take me but i want to follow. these themes have been coming up a lot lately through conversations and through situations. last night, God seemed to really impress them on my heart. it's nice knowing that He's still working in my life.

i'm still in the process of letting Him take over. where there's more of Him in my life and less of me. i was telling my friend that i was thankful that we get to start early in trying to become better men for our families and our friends. some people don't make this realization until it's too late. i'm just thankful that He's started on me already. it's kind of a bummer but also kind of a comfort to know that He's going to be working on my heart for the rest of my life. to make me a better person. a better friend. a better brother. a better son, father, husband, and any role that i'm going to be playing in the future. thank God for that. and i know that it's going to be a painful process. a process of letting go, starting over, messing up, trying again. it's going to be exhausting. it's going to be frustrating. it's going to be rewarding. it's going to be worth it. =]

here's to family, humility, and stepping out in faith. =]

hss

2011-01-17T08:29:00.000-08:00

led worship with a friend for a huntington beach prayer meeting last night. God was moving. really cool to be packed into a room full of people just praying for the city and passionate to make a difference for God.

i could barely sing last night. also had no lyrics. the projector just wouldn't read my mac. so ryan and i go outside and pray over the night. we started. and God took over. people didn't need the lyrics. the sang loud and i could feel the Spirit. it was awesome. and when it came to my turn to lead, my voice opened up just for the bit that i was singing. but the cool thing about it was it made room for everyone else in the room to sing. they were all leading worship and i was just singing along. =]

stoked to be a part of that small community. talked to a new friend about how it's so easy to get lost sometimes at big churches and how it's refreshing to be a part of a miniature expression of a megachurch and to actually know people, their names, and lives. really glad i came out last night.

praying for huntington beach. that God would continue to draw and tug hearts to Him. for the lost, the broken, the unwanted. that the theme on people's lips would be Jesus from pier to pier. =]

2011-01-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

praise God for a team of people who can embrace humility together. =]

half a voice

2011-01-14T07:32:00.000-08:00

humility. the unsung hero. the backbone. the behind-the-scenes drive that makes people admirable. i don't have it.

haha but i know that it's something huge that God's embedding into me. into my character. the way i talk, play, work, think, love. humility doesn't come easy for me. and God doesn't teach me in a nice way either. most of the time, He smacks me in the back of the head with it. i never expect it, but it comes. it's only fitting that one of my favorite passages is from philippians 2. even though Jesus was the Son of God and even God Himself, He didn't demand or cling on to any special privileges. even though He deserved everything, He lived on barely anything and even went so far as to humble Himself to the level of a servant, a slave. a king who gives up all authority and power and royalty to become a slave for His people. to be mocked and spit on and finally crucified, murdered, tortured publicly. man, if that's not humility, i don't know what is.

and here's me on the other side, getting angry that someone else made me sound stupid. or having my ideas turned down. or not winning an argument. or not getting what i want, the way i want it, when i want it, and it's usually, now, now, now. and i look at this person and i don't want to be him. i don't want this to be the man that people look at and say, "he's nothing like Jesus."

one big way God's been teaching me humility and helping me find my identity in Him is music. He kind of taken music away from me, in a sense. i haven't been really leading worship for a while now. the team that i've been coaching has been stepping up their game and i couldn't be prouder of them. but as a result of that, i end up not leading as much. i'm not known as the worship leader anymore. that identity is kind of stripped away. i'm the guy in the back. kind of the nobody. for a musician, that's not ideal. it's kind of terrible. to not be noticed. to be the second thought. to be the one nobody really knows about or has any knowledge of the work put into a project. it sucks. but as a man who wants to be more like Christ, it's necessary. and at the same time, freeing. freedom from showmanship. freedom from caring so much about what people think. freedom to worship. freedom to grasp humility. freedom to let go of the identity that requires me to perform to earn it. freedom to take hold of the identity that requires nothing of me.

i've always prided myself in being able to sing fairly well. but God wants to take that away from me as well. for the past few times that i have been leading worship for the junior highers, down in san diego and at city lights, something that never really happened to me before occurred. i lost my voice during worship. now i don't know if it's because i haven't been leading worship for big gaps of time or whatever. but i know it's God taking away that pride. having to lead worship with a half a voice is truly humbling, especially right in the middle of a song and for the rest of the set. i feel like it's something that i prayed about a while back. that God would help me not treat leading worship like a show, an act, a performance. i was really struggling with that. i just couldn't understand why i couldn't focus on God when i was leading worship. i feel like God's calling me back to worshipping Him when i'm leading. to stop singing so loud. to stop with the showboating. to find my quiet space with Him. and when i do that, i sing perfectly fine. it was never about impressing people. it was never about how good i was. it's always been about me and Him and what He's gifted me with to glorify Him.

i feel like when i was leading focusing on people, i was singing with half of a voice to Him. and He's been calling me back to sing with a full voice to Him and Him alone. =]

encouragement

2011-01-13T08:15:00.000-08:00

it's really cool to see the team that i've been semi leading for the past few months really take ownership of what they're doing. the worship team is such an encouragement to me. =] it's been so amazing to see what God's been doing in their hearts. it's so great to see people opening up and sharing on a deeper level, sharing sufferings and struggles, a small picture of what church is supposed to be like.

it's an honor to be a part of a community that is striving for change and deeper relationships. and not only with each other, but for the world around us. i know we're not going out and saving all the helpless, lost, and broken and letting them know that they're loved just yet, but it's awesome to take those first small steps in that direction. i can't wait to see how this rag tag group of people will pass down knowledge and wisdom to a younger generation in years to come and change the world for Jesus! but now, here's to what God's doing in the present! God is good. looking back a couple of months ago, i thought i was only going to be here a little while longer to coach the wbem worship team. that's it. we had no idea we would be here now. it's always been God behind it all. He had other plans for me, for us. i'm just glad to be a part of this adventure. =]

lazarus

2011-01-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

when i laid down to sleep last night, i was writhing in pain. my head felt like it was being attacked by razor blades from the inside out. i woke up this morning, no pain. praise God. i can't believe it. all i remember other than the pain last night was praying over and over again, "God help me!" i was really in a pathetic state. helpless physically and mentally. i couldn't move and i couldn't think. all i could do was pray and hope the pain would go away. i feel a lot better!

last night, the worship team was studying amos. we're learning about God's heart and passion for justice. i wanted everyone to be a part of something bigger than themselves and i think i was maybe kind of forcing it on them. one of my friends reminded me that the motivation should come from the heart and God's tug on them. totally forgot about that! i was putting my own expectations on people and forgot that they should be involved in these projects because they truly feel called to it! i was kind of thrown off by it a little bit but i'm glad that people can put me in check and help me remember the important things. we're learning about justice, but everyone learns at their own pace. we're learning about taking action, but God changes hearts at different times. i'm still learning patience. =]

i've been reading john 11 over and over again. there's something that sticks out. Jesus weeping. we all know this story. about Jesus coming to raise lazarus from the dead and He weeps when they take Him to the tomb. but i want to throw something out that i never really noticed before. yes, for certain He could've been weeping over lazarus' death. this was a friend that He loved dearly and this was a very moving situation, even if Jesus intended to raise him. what i notice is how much this foreshadows Jesus' death. if we look at verse 14 and 15, Jesus actually says that He's glad that He wasn't there when lazarus died. i don't think He was saying that He was happy that He wasn't there when lazarus was on his deathbed, rather He was glad that He wasn't there so that now, He could give them new grounds for believing. none of them understood what He was doing, but He knew all along. when He got there, martha and mary both told Him if He was there earlier, He could have saved lazarus and there came an anger in Him. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to let His friend die. but it was for the purpose of glorifying God. in the midst of doing what He was supposed to do for God and for His disciples, it still hurt.

they kept on saying that He could have done something about it. anything. but He chose not to. He chose to not use His power to save lazarus so that He could show them something. i think there was this sense of impatience in Jesus. the sense that even after all the miracles He had done, His followers still wouldn't believe that He could do anything. nobody really believed that He would raise lazarus.

nobody really believed that Jesus would rise from the dead. when He wept, i don't think He was just weeping over lazarus, i think He might have also been weeping over what was to come for Him as well. there's a connection. He chooses not to use His power to save Himself so that He could take the punishment of the world on Himself. people didn't understand why He didn't just save Himself. why didn't He just hop off the cross or call down the heaven's armies? He could have made all of the people who were hurting Him pay for what they did. He had the power to do so. so why didn't He? it's because He chose not to. for our sake. the sake of the world. for love's sake.

we see Jesus' humanness here in His weeping. we remember in the garden that He would've accepted any other way to glorify God but to go on the cross. it was still extremely painful for Him to let His friend die. now it was His turn. to say goodbye to His friends and His family so that God could be glorified. even though He knew that He was going to rise again, it still hurt.

God, you're so good to us. Jesus, thank you so much for what you did on that cross for me. you took on so much pain for my sake. for the sake of this broken man. thank you.

hallelujah

2011-01-11T08:12:00.000-08:00

i've been gone gone gone. off the maps. off the charts. searching, waiting, getting lost, starting over again. this past year has been a whirlwind. so much has happened. from the decision to leave my home church, to the san diego urban project, to the worship team, to rock harbor, and now a church plant on the horizon. i find myself back here.

i was journaling a couple of days ago about how my relationship with God seems so distant and contrived. i couldn't understand why i felt so alone. i couldn't understand why i didn't feel any different. i thought everything would change when the new year started. i know i prayed for 2010 to be a difficult year so that i could learn to trust Him and be closer to Him. why don't i feel that way? 2011 has started and i feel desperately dissatisfied. i don't like the man that i've been lately. i don't like that i've been impatient, easily flustered, shy, angry, lonely. then i started asking myself. "is this my fault?"

"have i been the one that's been distancing myself from Him, from other people?" and i started realizing that i have been shrinking back from opportunities to dive in deeper with people. i've been shrugging off opportunities to get closer to God. for people, i'm scared of rejection. i'm scared of awkward silences. i'm scared of looking like that christian who always bugs you about your spiritual life. for God, i've been taking Him for granted. i know He's here, so i read a couple of verses in the bible every day and label that as spending my time with God. i don't think reading someone's autobiography every once in a while qualifies as me spending quality time with someone and entering into a deep and meaningful relationship with them. but that's what i've been doing. i've been completely missing out on God and what He wants to do in my life. i've been filling up my time with meaningless junk. i surf the web, watch movies, read gaming news, etc. and i rush through my time with God to do so.

i started asking about where that boy was who was so eager to wake up every morning to spend time with his Father. where is that excitement? where is that enthusiasm to just crack open his Father's love letter to him? i wish i was that boy again. i feel like a cynical old man, doubting everything, forgetting what love is, looking at the downside in everything, no hope, just dread. i hate that. i hate that that's what i've become. even though not a lot of people can see it, i know He sees it. He knows me inside out. He knows that i'm hurting.

and i know that it's definitely spiritual attack that i'm feeling this way. but at the same time, i know i play a part in it as well. i need to be intentional in my relationships with people. i know that's what i used to do. i would drive all the way to someone's house just to spend time with them and let them know that they're on my heart and that i love them. i would ask them how their spiritual lives were and pray over them. i've been turning away those opportunities to mentor and to lead the people that i love because i'm scared of those awkward silences. i'm scared they won't have anything to say. i'm scared i'll look stupid. but as a boy, as that excited kid who just wanted to share his Father's love, i didn't care. i just did it. i was talking to a friend yesterday and realized that i'd rather have people be challenged in their faith and wrestle with hard questions and give me that awkward silence rather than have them skim through life without ever being challenged. i need to get back to that. i just want to get back to being that person who is just so filled up with God's love that i can't contain it any longer. i have to tell someone about it. i have to pour it back into someone else. that's the man that i want to be.

at rock harbor the other night, we were talking about rejoicing. oh, how i have forgotten how to rejoice. not just in the good events, and not even the really bad events, but to give God praise in everything. the little things. in every detail of my life. to not rejoice in the situation, but rejoice that Christ is in the situation. that He is here no matter what. that's a reason to rejoice. remembering that God is good no matter the circumstances. i've forgotten how to do that. i want that again.

and now that i really think about it. praise God! He is so good to me! He's been working on my heart all year! from showing me He was with me when i couldn't feel Him at all at the beginning of this last year. to filling me up as i went to share life with the teenagers and kids down in san diego. to realizing that my relationship with my dad is something that affects me to this day and learning that i have to play an active part in redeeming that along with the Holy Spirit. to learning that it's such a burden and a heavy weight to maintain a facade. it's so much easier when i share my struggles with people and have them help me in it rather than hiding it and being afraid that people find out about the ugly me underneath! things that i couldn't learn on my own! He's been with me all along. hallelujah! He's taught me so many things this past year! so many life lessons. He's given me an amazing community. He's reunited me with my mentor. He's breaking down my relationship with thuy so we can build it up right. there's just so many things to give God praise for!

i'm so sorry, Lord, for ignoring you and pushing you aside. fill me with your love. help me remember how good you are! let me be excited about sharing this love with people again! that's what it's always been about! your love, your love, your love. it's been my driving force all along! these past couple of years. it's always been about how much you love me and me sharing that back to the people around me. that's what i want my life to be about. i want my life to be marked by love!! i want people to see that and give praise back to you! God, fill me with your love! throw out my fears of looking like a cheesy christian! i want to be a passionate christian, not a passive one! someone who is overwhelmed by love and overflowing with love for the people around me. transform my heart again. change me. i know you can! remind me why i'm here on this earth. to glorify you with my life. to glorify you by the way i'm marked by your love. it's so repetitive. it's so cliche. only because it's true. your love is why i'm here and i want to share that with the world!

hallelujah! =]

new eyes

2010-10-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

Jesus Rejected at Nazareth

1 Jesus left that part of the country and returned with his disciples to Nazareth, his hometown.2 The next Sabbath he began teaching in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. They asked, "Where did he get all this wisdom and the power to perform such miracles?"3 Then they scoffed, "He's just a carpenter, the son of Marys and the brother of James, Joseph,s Judas, and Simon. And his sisters live right here among us." They were deeply offended and refused to believe in him.
4 Then Jesus told them, "A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family."5 And because of their unbelief, he couldn't do any miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them.6 And he was amazed at their unbelief.

mark 6

whoa. this was convicting. it seemed like people's familiarity with Jesus made them miss out on the amazing person that was Jesus! because they knew His family, His past, His upbringing, they couldn't respect Him, or they wouldn't. it seemed like i always applied this story to myself. as if i'm the one that's not completely respected at my home church because they've seen me grow up there. they've seen me be a hooligan and stirring up trouble and that kind of speaks louder than the person i am today.

but how have i been judging the people in my life who i've become familiar with? how have i not been respecting and appreciating because i've known them for so long? family? friends? man, this was so convicting. who have i not been letting affect me and seeking God's voice from just because i've grown familiar or "used to" them? who have i not been giving my full attention because of what i know of their past? who in my life do i think hasn't changed? who is it do i think that God isn't really using to speak into my life? how much have i been missing out on because of this? i don't want to be like Jesus' hometown. i don't want to miss out on something amazing because of my pride, jealousy, or simple ignorance.

i want to be able to see people grow, no matter how familiar they are to me. i want to hear God speak from them. i want to see God use them in my life and in other people's lives. i need new eyes.

being with Him

2010-10-05T07:29:00.001-07:00

Jesus Chooses the Twelve Apostles

13 Afterward Jesus went up on a mountain and called out the ones he wanted to go with him. And they came to him.14 Then he appointed twelve of them and called them his apostles.s They were to accompany him, and he would send them out to preach,15 giving them authority to cast out demons.16 These are the twelve he chose:

Simon (whom he named Peter),
17 James and John (the sons of Zebedee, but Jesus nicknamed them "Sons of Thunder"s),
18 Andrew,
Philip,
Bartholomew,
Matthew,
Thomas,
James (son of Alphaeus),
Thaddaeus,
Simon (the zealots),
19 Judas Iscariot (who later betrayed him).

mark 3

the part that has been really hitting my heart lately is, "they were to accompany him, and he would send them out to preach, giving them authority to cast out demons." just this idea of being with Jesus. in private and in public. all of the time. watching everything that He did. seeing miracles unfold. observing how He cared for people. listen to how He talked. witness His love. all so the disciples could then be ready to preach the Gospel, to spread the Good News. only after they had spent a considerable amount of time with Jesus could they truly have the authority to cast out demons. i'm thinking to myself that this may go against some teaching that we hear at church. that no matter where you are with Christ, you can spread the word about Him, you can evangelize and preach the Gospel. i think that's still true because the Holy Spirit is working inside of you, even if you are a new follower. but i think of how much stronger the testimony and witness would be after spending every single day with Jesus. seeing Him move inside you to love other people. seeing Him dissolve the bitterness and discontentment in your heart. seeing Him push you and challenge you to forgive those that hurt you. seeing Him change your heart that you actually start loving the people that hate you. what a powerful testimony that would be!

another thing that God has been putting in my heart is mentorship or discipleship. i see the way Jesus taught His disciples and it doesn't seem impossible today. it's about including someone in your life so they can see the way you love people and so that they can see what a christian looks like outside of a sunday or "holy" days. what does a christian look like on a "regular" day? what does living out love for God entail? that's where discipleship comes in. i've been mentored years now and not known it. i do believe it's played a part in the way i love people. and i want to pass that on. i want all of us to pass that on. to be filled up with the Spirit and go out and change the world is amazing, but it doesn't continue if we don't pass that on to a younger generation! we can't just hoard all of the Spirit for ourselves. i want to show people who are younger than me that Jesus Christ is the most revolutionary man that i've ever met and that a life lived out for Him is completely dangerous and it's a life of adventure and unpredictability!

i want to know Jesus more so i can truly give a powerful testimony to the people around me. so i can give a powerful testimony to my mentoree. i want him or her to witness how much Christ compels me. i want him or her to see how much i love the King and the King loves me.

crowds

2010-10-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

Crowds Follow Jesus

7 Jesus went out to the lake with his disciples, and a large crowd followed him. They came from all over Galilee, Judea,8 Jerusalem, Idumea, from east of the Jordan River, and even from as far north as Tyre and Sidon. The news about his miracles had spread far and wide, and vast numbers of people came to see him.
9 Jesus instructed his disciples to have a boat ready so the crowd would not crush him.10 He had healed many people that day, so all the sick people eagerly pushed forward to touch him.11 And whenever those possessed by evils spirits caught sight of him, the spirits would throw them to the ground in front of him shrieking, "You are the Son of God!"12 But Jesus sternly commanded the spirits not to reveal who he was.

mark 3

i think sometimes we read verses like these where it talks about multitudes of people and we kind of overlook it. we hear the story of the feeding of the 5000 and we go, "how nice." i don't think we think about the magnitude of people that Jesus is touching and healing and changing. so when i read that people came from all over galilee, judea, jerusalem, idumea, from east of the jordan river, and even from as far north as tyre and sidon, it didn't strike me that hard until i really thought about it. dang. this is a huge, incredibly big, epic gathering of people. it got so crowded that at a certain point, Jesus had to tell His disciples to grab a boat for Him so that He can teach without being what? crushed!! i just think of rockharbor and how that gathering is a couple thousand people in itself, and that's only people from orange county! imagine finding out a man that heals diseases and casts out demons. wouldn't you travel great distances to see Him and be healed?? i'm thinking widescale, off-the-map, people coming from all over the us to see this man. this is Jesus. He was something to behold. the crazy thing? He didn't back down, He healed all of them. it's beautiful. no matter how many people, He did what He felt like doing, touching them and changing their lives.

here's the part that gets me. "He had healed many that day, so all the sick people eagerly pushed forward to touch Him." they saw what He did, and they reacted. they saw the miracles He was doing. they saw the lives He was changing. and they wanted Him. they wanted to touch Him. they wanted to be near Him. in the esv version, they "pressed" in around Him to touch Him. now i ask myself. if i see all that He's done? i see the lives that He's changed. i see the miraculous stories of His healing. why don't i "press" in? there are people coming from all over the region to see and touch and be near this man. this man who takes the time to heal each and every one of them and why am i not "pressing" in?

i think sometimes we forget how amazing Jesus is. how He attracted thousands of people to Him, and today, millions of people to Him. there's something about Him. it can't be emulated by man. there is something out of this world about Jesus. this guy had so much love and compassion for people. so much so that He rebuked anybody who was a religious leader that forgot about loving people. He had authority. He had power. He was righteous. He was forgiving. He is everything that i want to be like. and He wants to have a relationship with us. isn't that just crazy?? the Savior of the world, the Creator of the universe, the Truth, and the Life, and the Way, wants to have a personal, intimate relationship with me. and i'm brought back to this state of humility. who am i, God, to receive your grace and mercy? thank you for loving me.

mercy, not sacrifice

2010-09-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

Jesus Heals on the Sabbath

1 Jesus went into the synagogue again and noticed a man with a deformed hand.2 Since it was the Sabbath, Jesus' enemies watched him closely. If he healed the man's hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath.
3 Jesus said to the man with the deformed hand, "Come and stand in front of everyone."4 Then he turned to his critics and asked, "Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?" But they wouldn't answer him.
5 He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man,"Hold out your hand." So the man held out his hand, and it was restored!6 At once the Pharisees went away and met with the supporters of Herod to plot how to kill Jesus.

mark 3

i was originally going to write this myself but i found this and thought it said what needed to be said. =]

"I have read this section of Scripture nearly 100 times, and I think I finally got it today. A man with a shriveled hand comes to Jesus in the synagogue and everyone is wondering what Jesus is going to do. Is He going to break the Sabbath law by healing the man on the Sabbath? He asks the question and becomes angry with all of the religious leaders because of their silence and hard heartedness. Why were they silent? And why was Jesus angry? Look at the two options in Jesus' question again. What are the only two options Jesus leaves on the table? He only leaves good and evil. The religious leaders are looking for another option. They are looking for the "nothing" option. Their argument would be, “Isn't that what the Sabbath is about? We do nothing on the Sabbath. We aren't allowed to work.” They spent centuries defining what working and not working on the Sabbath was. Now Jesus is telling them that not doing a good work on the Sabbath might be paramount to doing evil. Jesus is addressing the sins of omission in our lives. These are the things we ought to do but don't. Jesus told them, and is telling us, how wrong it is to use our religion to justify a good work not done. Throughout all of Scripture God says, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice." If we are going to error, we are better off erring on the doing side and not the side of doing "nothing". If you want to raise God's fury, get in front (in the way) of His mercy and grace. Brothers and Sisters in Christ, God wants our obedience to His Word, but He always wants that obedience rooted in grace and mercy. Today, may we see the clarity of our choices, and may we always choose to do good! Peace!"

- Tom

christians

2010-09-12T08:20:00.001-07:00

"It is the Christians, O Emperor, who have sought and found the truth, for they acknowledge God. They do not keep for themselves the goods entrusted to them. They do not covet what belongs to others. They show love to their neighbors. They do not do to another what they would not wish to have done to themselves. They speak gently to those who oppress them, and in this way they make them their friends. It has become their passion to do good to their enemies. They live in the awareness of their smallness. Every one of them who has anything gives ungrudgingly to the one who has nothing. If they see a traveling stranger, they bring him under their roof. They rejoice over him as over a real brother, for they do not call one another brothers after the flesh, but they know they are brothers in the Spirit and in God. If they hear that one of them is imprisoned or oppressed for the sake of Christ, they take care of all his needs. If possible they set him free. If anyone among them is poor or comes into want while they themselves have nothing to spare, they fast two or three days for him. In this way they can supply any poor man with the food he needs. This, O Emperor, is the rule of life of the Christians, and this is their manner of life."

- Aristides 137 AD

"Every culture has particular ways of eating. Some folks eat with chopsticks; others sit on the floor. In India we ate with our right hands. How do Christians eat? Christians eat with poor folks, with the outcast, the marginalized, and the excluded--all who were never invited to anyone else's party. Ours is a different kind of party. It's more like a divine banquet than another political program. Society's misfits are our people, our 'constituency.'

"There's an old story of a bishop whose cathedral was about to be robbed. The bandits demanded the 'treasures of the church.' So the bishop went into the shelter and gathered up the poor, saying, 'These are the treasures of the church.' The bandits left empty-handed that night."

- Jesus for President

i look at that first quote and i think to myself, man, i want the world to look at the church and see that. i want the world to see sacrificial people who go out of their way to love on others. i want the world to see people who starve to be able to feed someone in need. i want the world to see God's love. if i didn't have a relationship with Christ, i would look at this description and think, "wow, these christians are really something. why do they live this way? who are they living for? who is this Jesus that they worship? can i get to know Him?"

i also think, "man, how do we get there? how do we live that radically?" and the real answer is, we don't. at least, not by ourselves. we need each other and we need the Holy Spirit. through living by the Spirit, listening, waiting, praying, being sensitive to Him, by feeling and recognizing His love, we start to just LIVE it. it doesn't become "spiritual fruit" that we tape on ourselves, it doesn't become just an act, but it becomes a way of living that reflects what's on the inside.

i'm excited to see God raise a generation that is passionate for truth and action. for God and living in response to His love. let the world see the way we live and give praise to God. let the world see us and fall in love with Him.

Jesus for President

2010-09-07T07:48:00.001-07:00

Just some excerpts from a book I've been reading that I wanted to share. =]

"The church is a people called out of the world to embody a social alternative that the world cannot know on its own terms. We are not simply asking the government to be what God has commissioned the church to be. After all, even the best government can't legislate love. We can build hundreds of units of affordable housing (a good thing by the way) and people still might not have 'homes.' We can provide universal health care and keep folks breathing longer (another nice move), but people can be breathing and still not truly be 'alive.' We can create laws to enforce good behavior, but no law has ever changed a human heart or reconciled a broken relationship. The church is not simply suggesting political alternatives. The church is embodying one."

"Remember when ole John the Baptizer sent his disciples to ask Jesus whether he was the one they were expecting and he didn't answer with a simple yes? Jesus instead told them to go tell John what they saw him doing. He knew that John could read the trail of crumbs. John knew that when lepers were healed, the blind saw, the dead rose, and the good news was preached to the poor, the one they were awaiting was indeed here.

What does our trail of crumbs look like? If someone asks if we are Christ-followers, can we say, 'tell me what you see?' Is there enough evidence to prove that we are taking after the slaughtered Lamb? What if they ask the poor around us? What if they ask our enemies? Would they say that we love them? Christians haven't always looked like Jesus. Perhaps the greatest barrier to Christ has been Christians who pronounce Jesus so loudly with their lips and deny him so loudly with their lives."

"A recent survey of young adults who are 'familiar outsiders' to Christianity showed that the three most common perceptions of Christians by onlookers are that we are anti-homosexual (an image held by 91 percent of the folks surveyed), judgmental (87 percent), and hypocritical (85 percent). How sad that the very things that Jesus scolded the religious elites around him for are the very things for which Christians are now known. We have a major image problem. To hear more about this study by the Barna research team, check out the book Unchristian (Baker, 2007) by our friends David Kinnaman and Gabe lyons."

Some tough things for me to hear. I know I can't change the way people look at Christians. I can't change people's hearts. But I know that the Holy Spirit can, God can, Jesus can. When we put on Jesus, when we live out LOVE, not condemnation, people see who we live for. They see Christ by the way we live. Not just by the things we say.

Trying to love a little more each day. Trying to be like Jesus a little more each day. =]

the kid

2010-07-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

Jesus Blesses the Children

13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.
14 But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."15 And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.

matthew 19

i know. i haven't blogged in a while. i forget why. was i making it into a routine? maybe. did i find something better to do with my morning time? not really. maybe i was just copping out. maybe i made up the excuse that i needed to stop blogging because i wasn't really spending time with God. instead, what i really should have been doing was blogging and trying to spend time with Him as well, rather than just blogging and leaving it at that. it's 6:53 on a thursday morning and i'm leaving for a san diego in a couple of hours. and i need God more than ever. i need Jesus to come steal my heart. i've been letting so many other things consume me. i want to fall in love with Jesus again. i want to be swept off my feet. oh, phil wickham, you got it right, bro. it really is a divine romance.

"Jesus. i need you. i need you, i need you, i need you. so much. i'm lost without you. my world's topsy turvy without you. i have no sense of direction, to clear vision of where i need to go, no love in my heart for myself or the people around me without you." sounds like an n'sync song. i've been reading my old blog posts for about an hour now and i keep asking myself, "man, where did that kid go? that kid that was full of passion and love. that kid who loved the Lord with his every breath. the kid whose every word was a form of praise to the King. where did he go?" i am sitting on my bed, desperate, and in need of Jesus to take over. i want there to be less of me and more of Him. i know, i know, i know that when i live for myself, i get absolutely nowhere. i dig myself into a hole. there's a hole in me that no one else can fill except Jesus. "God, i need you so much right now," is all that's coming out of my mouth. i want to say, "God, i need you for all of eternity." that's what i really mean. but man, do i need Him to be close right now.

i'll be gone for a month. and i've been thinking so much about what i'm going to be missing out on. i've been thinking about how much i'll miss my family and my friends. i've also been thinking about the adventure that's to come. the new friendships that are going to be made. the amazing things that are going to take place. but it's all been kind of for myself. i haven't thought about the real reason i want to do this. it's because i love Jesus. it's because i love Jesus so much that i'm willing to spend a month away from my loved ones and my comfort and safety and thrust into the fray. i love Jesus so much that i want to share about Him to everyone that i meet. and i love the people in san diego so much that i want to spend a month there with them. letting them know, reminding, encouraging them that Jesus loves them so much. He has a plan. He has big things in store for each and every one of them. He wants to use them in AMAZING, LIFE-CHANGING ways.

back to the verse. =] imagine being a kid who has heard about this man who performs this amazing miracles. you hear about him healing the blind and the lame and even raising people from the dead! your parents say that you're going to see him today. how do you feel? stoked! excited! but for me, i'd be nervous and even scared. you know you're not very important already, being a kid and all. especially in that culture, knowing that kids couldn't contribute much, you're not even sure that the man would even consider glancing your way. you get up to where he is and what happens? his disciples yell at your parents and push you aside! bum to the er. you start leaving discouraged and heartbroken. and then you hear a voice. he says, "let the children come. don't stop them!" you're filled with joy and confusion! he blesses you.

who are we to be blessed by Jesus? who am i to be blessed and considered by Him? sometimes, i feel like those kids. unworthy, a second thought, discouraged, thinking, "why would Jesus, the Son of Nazareth, the Savior of the World, want to spend time with me?" and yet, He yells at His own disciples for not letting me come to Him. He touches me, i mean, really lowers and humbles Himself to my level to bless me!! and i'm filled with awe and tears. why would this amazing man want to spend time with someone as insignificant as me?? He must really love me. despite His status and the respect that people have for Him, He lowers Himself in front of everyone to bless me. despite His holiness, His sinlessness, His righteousness, His greatness, He humbles Himself in front of the world to die on the cross for me. for me. to make me blameless before God. to make me clean. to make me whole. to make me white as snow. and i am just amazed by how much He loves me.

i think we lose that sometimes. i know i lose it. i forget to be like the child who is just filled with awe because of what He's done for me. i forget that i'm the frightened child who is amazed that He would do something like that for me. i get filled with pride and forget that i didn't "earn" this gift. it was freely given to a helpless and broken boy.

"God, remind me of who i am. Your son. Your kid. i want to make You proud. fill me with that awe again. with that joy. the joy of my salvation. fill me wonder and amazement. don't let me just be filled with those emotions. let me live in response to it. let my life look different because of how much you love me. so the world may know how much you love them, too."

the Holy Spirit

2010-06-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

Living by the Spirit's Power

16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves.17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.
19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures,20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division,21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives.26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

galatians 5

we just learned about the Holy Spirit on sunday at rockharbor. i feel like i've been ignoring the Holy Spirit a lot over these last few months. johnny said something that really hit me sunday night. he said that the more we ignore the Holy Spirit, the more we become dull to Him. that struck a chord in me. when you stop listening to the Holy Spirit, you stop letting Him direct your decisions, you refuse letting Him guide you, you become more and more dull to what He has to say. in other words, you get exactly what you wanted. you don't acknowledge the Holy Spirit, the Spirit starts becoming quieter and quieter to your ears. what He says starts having little effect on you. that's what happened to me. that night, we prayed to be refilled with the Holy Spirit, that we would break out of our dullness, that we would be sensitive again to the Holy Spirit's direction in our lives. i need Him. by running my life all by myself, i've only dug myself deeper into a hole that i was trying to get out of in the first place.

i saw this chapter this morning and it really hit me as well. i really like how paul says that when we let the Holy Spirit run things, we won't be doing what our sinful nature craves. i mean, when we're following the Spirit, we steer clear from temptation. i know that the Spirit is telling me to go a different route and to avoid that temptation altogether. when the Holy Spirit is guiding our lives, when we're in submission to Him, when we're choosing to follow the Spirit, what's most important to us? God! our own selfish wants go out the window and we want what God wants!

earlier in this chapter, paul talks about how we shouldn't return to slavery to the law. we shouldn't return to living by rules and regulations. if we do that, we have to follow every rule and regulation all throughout the old testament and the freedom that Jesus gives us is pointless! if we start living in a way where we think we can earn salvation and work for God's favor again, Jesus's death on the cross becomes useless to us! rather, paul encourages us to live by the Spirit. because when we live by the Spirit, we don't put our faith and trust in our own ability to follow the law and gain favor with God. when we live by the Spirit, we put our faith and trust in the Holy Spirit to guide and we follow. we simply follow. we don't try so hard to obey all these rules and commands, we simply listen to what He says we should do in every step of our lives. it's like instead of finding our way by consulting a map and following every single thing it says for getting to a certain destination we simply let the gps guide the way and let us know when to turn and where to go. by following a long list of twists and turns that a map gives us, we sometimes mess up and get lost. we lose our way. we end up having to make u-turns and we lose out on time! and also, when we use the map, we completely neglect the gps that we just bought!!! but when we follow the gps, we trust the gps knows where it's going, it calculates everything for us, it gets us there without hassle and we focus more on the journey than just getting to the destination. when we go back to just obeying the law, we neglect the Holy Spirit who's trying to guide us now!! He helps us get to where God wants us to be without hassle so we can focus on the journey and not just on the end point.

i really like how paul says this next part, too. he says that when we follow our sinful desires, the RESULTS are very clear. and he goes on to list all these sins. haha the sins are the punishments themselves!! that's deep! what he's saying is that when we follow our sinful desires, that's what we get, the sins themselves! that's it! i like how the message puts it. all we get is cheap, repetitive, loveless sex. fighting amongst ourselves. never satisfying pursuits. the list goes on. we realize that sin in itself, is its own punishment! it leads us nowhere! it leaves us with a bitter taste in our mouths. it leaves us searching for more. it hollows us out. but here's the good news. now that we've received the Holy Spirit, we bear different fruits. if we yield to the Holy Spirit, we bear love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. we bear real, deep, emotional relationships. we bear joy in life, through times of blessings and through times of hardships. we bear things that help us live life to its fullest, rather than things that snuff the life out of us!

in summary, follow the Spirit, not the law. sin in itself is its own punishment. but when we follow the Spirit, we live the life worth living, rather than the life that can hardly be called life.

being a fool

2010-06-14T10:48:00.001-07:00

i'd rather be a fool for Jesus than the world's fool any day.

2010-05-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

If God's promise is only for those who obey the law, then faith is not necessary and the promise is pointless.

romans 4

a life that's worth living

2010-05-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

sometimes spiritual truths come in devotions. sometimes it comes through the wonderful people that you have in your life. sometimes it comes through strangers that you run into on the street. sometimes it comes through nature. sometimes it comes through tall, manmade structures. sometimes it comes through an accident, a spill, an unintentional blunder. and sometimes it comes as you're gasping for air, dropping boulders of sweat from your forehead, feet and legs numb from exhaustion.

today, i was reminded. why do i live? why do i exist? what is my purpose? what is my calling? i was reminded of a sermon that mike erie gave months ago. it changed up the way that i looked at life. the way i looked at sin. when we're sinning. when we're letting the wrong people influence us. when we're using drugs and shooting up. when we're drinking like there's no tomorrow. when we're looking at pornography. when we're sleeping around. when we're slandering, gossiping, deliberately holding onto bitterness and resentment. when we're willingly not forgiving people out of spite. let's NOT call that living for Christ. let's say it like it is. let's not sugarcoat it. let's not decorate with flowery terms and nice words. let's be real. that's just living for ourselves.

when people look at my life, what would they say? "wow, thien has a passion that i explain!" "he has a love that unlike anything that i've ever seen before!" "he has grace that is so undeserved!" "he's living a life that's worth living!" or would they simply say, "he's just like me." "he's playing it safe." "he says he's living for Christ but in reality, he's just living for himself."

sin. falling short of the mark. maybe sometimes, we're just too lax about it. thinking that we can conquer it on our own. maybe not even giving it much thought anymore. what does God's love letter to us say? repent. turn. around. and bolt. run as if your life depended on it. run towards Jesus. some of us haven't been running. if anything, we've been walking casually and occasionally taking a glance back at it.

no more. i'm asking God to fill me up again. Holy Spirit fall into my life. come crashing into me. fill my heart and my mind. let my actions be rooted in who You are and who You want me to be. let me be a beacon of light. change my heart, not my situation. push me out of my comfort zone. push me to depend more on You. i'm tired of feeling scared and running away from challenges. i'm tired of playing it safe. i'm tired of living "comfortably."

i step aside. i give you my life. for You to move. do what You want to do.

dijon

2010-05-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

Parable of the Mustard Seed

31 Here is another illustration Jesus used: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field.32 It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants; it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches."

matthew 13

i think this is so cool. it's such a short passage but means so much. the jews always expected that the day the messiah would come would be great, big, and victorious. they were expecting fanfare, loud marching, battle cries. but the messiah did come. there was no fanfare, no loud marching, no battle cries. there were miracles, there were teachings, there were rebukes, there was betrayal, there was suffering. this isn't what it was supposed to be like. it wasn't supposed to be Jesus that rescued the israelites. it was supposed to be a military leader, a king. not a humble carpenter from a small town. but look at what happened. that mustard seed grew and grew and grew. the disciples prayed. the Holy Spirit came down. peter preached. people were saved. the church started growing. and here we are today. from that small ministry in a small region to the entire world. isn't it amazing?? it just blows my mind.

and i love this, too. that birds come and make nests in its branches. i guess birds were sometimes meant to symbolize unbelievers and sinners and here we see these "birds" coming to make their homes in this kingdom. people who were hopeless now find hope in the kingdom. they find hope in Jesus. they want to come and build their home in God. it's a beautiful picture.

i think we have to realize that the kingdom of God came in a really insignificant way, through the mustard seed, through Jesus. and our insignificant actions do make a difference. it may be simply hanging out with someone and living love out with them or it may be simply inviting someone to church. it might be just sharing a real conversation with someone or going the extra mile to help someone out. you never know that that little something that you did just planted a mustard seed and set that person on a head on collision with God. =] i never knew that 2 years ago, my whole life would change because someone close to me brought me along to a conference which would eventually lead me to turn around my walk with God. and here i am today, wanting to finish up my bachelor's in psychology so i can head to seminary and try to obtain my masters in divinity to become a youth pastor. what mustard seeds, little or seemingly insignificant things that happened in your life, that got you to where you are today? live out love now. sow those seeds! you never know where it'll take someone. =]

living out mercy

2010-05-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

Jesus Heals on the Sabbath

9 Then Jesus went over to their synagogue,10 where he noticed a man with a deformed hand. The Pharisees asked Jesus, "Does the law permit a person to work by healing on the Sabbath?" (They were hoping he would say yes, so they could bring charges against him.)
11 And he answered, "If you had a sheep that fell into a well on the Sabbath, wouldn't you work to pull it out? Of course you would.12 And how much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Yes, the law permits a person to do good on the Sabbath."
13 Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." So the man held out his hand, and it was restored, just like the other one!14 Then the Pharisees called a meeting to plot how to kill Jesus.

matthew 12

alright, i'm going to start skipping around in the gospel of matthew because i realized that i've gone over a lot of these same passages already haha.

here we have Jesus being tested by the pharisees. they want to catch Him messing up by getting Him to answer that it's ok to heal people on the sabbath. this shows how far off track that these men, these "followers of God," had gotten. they had made up so many rules so that they wouldn't break the old testament laws that they would let people go on hurting than dare to break the law. Jesus comes in to correct this misinterpretation of the law. if we look in the passage before this one and a couple passages before that, we hear Jesus saying that He desires mercy, not sacrifices. more than our religious traditions and rituals, He desires mercy. He desires true love and compassion for other people. yes, we have these certain traditions for a reason, to honor, to remember, to reflect, etc. but! it should never take the place of true LIVING for God.

the pharisees made it into religion. a system of rules and regulations that was devoid of love or fault. but today, we see a lot of us doing the same thing. we see a lot of christians caring more about being on time to church than helping someone who is in need on their way to church. what's more important? mercy? or sacrifice? don't we realize that we're honoring God even more by sacrificing our time to have mercy on other people? whereas, when we're just upholding these laws that we are having anything but mercy on others. there are some people on the other side of the fence too, though. there are people who throw the holiness, the beauty, of the sabbath to the side and don't honor it at all. i'm guilty of it myself. almost every sunday, for a while, i didn't think about God at all. i was just worrying about the next week or what i was supposed to get done that day. even when i set time aside to have a sabbath on another day of the week, i ended up spending zero time with God. sure, i got rest for myself, but i didn't get any rest in Him. i defeated the whole purpose of sabbath. i didn't remember Him, i didn't honor Him, i didn't let Him into that day to fill me up. like everything, there has to be a balance. there has to be a balance of not making following God into just a bunch of rules and regulations that are lacking in love. and there has to be a balance of not making following God a game, something that can be put on and off and taken not seriously at all.

i think it means really considering what you're doing. what having mercy on people really requires. what having true compassion and empath for people asks us to do to get out of our comfort zones. maybe it means just getting a drink with someone who is hurting, to be with them, to share and comfort them. i'm sure that having compassion on that person is so much bigger and more important than not drinking. i honestly hate parties. as in the loud music, lots of drinking, people running around making weirdos out of themselves. but if it means that i can somehow grow closer to someone and eventually have them feel comfortable enough with me to ask me about Jesus, i'm all for it. and i don't mean go off and do something completely off the charts like crash your car into a house so you can relate with someone who did the same thing, use discernment and wisdom. but i do mean to really look at the situation and ask, "how do i live out mercy in this?" instead of just passing up the opportunity. we saw Jesus do the same things, eating with the outcasts of society, having a party with the hated and despised, healing the gentiles, for us, non-christians. and honestly, i'd rather be like Jesus than the pharisees.

He is

2010-05-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

The Need for Workers

35 Jesus traveled through all the towns and villages of that area, teaching in the synagogues and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom. And he healed every kind of disease and illness.36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.37 He said to his disciples, "The harvest is great, but the workers are few.38 So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields."

matthew 9

who else can admit that at least in one time in our lives, we've had bouts of confusion and helplessness. i'm willing to bet a lot of people in the world still feel the same way, even though they're not willing to admit it. especially in our culture, it seems like we all have to find our own way. we're faced with so many choices and roads that we don't know which one to choose. we end up changing majors time and time again. or we end up changing careers, even. some of us end up where we never intended to be and are simply stuck and that's where the helplessness comes in. the sense of "if i don't keep this job, if i don't go to this school, if i don't live up to society's expectations of me, i fail." and there's no way out of it. it's a scary spiral of us trying to live up to other people's expectations. so many of us are just trapped in this cycle of "living." school, job, family, retirement, die. pass it on. next. next. next. and this is where Jesus, the shepherd, comes in. i've probably talked about this before, but i love this one thing that mike erie shared with us at rockharbor one night. it's that following Jesus means giving up the rights to controlling your own life. but also that following Jesus means getting to give up the rights to running your own life. it's too hard to do it alone. He shows you where to go. He tells you what to say. He guides you. He gives me the freedom of living a life that isn't confined to a box and set structure. He is my shepherd, and i won't be wanting. He keeps me safe. He cares for me. He never leaves my side. i'm not as confused anymore. i understand a little bit more why. i'm not helpless anymore. i've got all the help i can get from Him. He strengthens me, encourages me, lifts me up. He is my rock and my fortress. i don't think i acknowledge that enough. i don't think i remember how confused or helpless i was before i met Him. thank God He found me.

the harvest is plenty. there are people who need to hear this message. that they are not alone, that they don't have to be confused anymore, that they don't have to feel helpless anymore. everybody needs to hear this. the prayer that Jesus asked His disciples to pray 2000 years ago is still so relevant today. we need more people to share this message with the world. there are breaking hearts all over the world today and they need to hear that God is here. He is strong. He is mighty to save. He is in control. He will not leave us. He is.

crying out and running after

2010-04-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

Jesus Heals the Blind

27 After Jesus left the girl's home, two blind men followed along behind him, shouting, "Son of David, have mercy on us!"
28 They went right into the house where he was staying, and Jesus asked them, "Do you believe I can make you see?"
"Yes, Lord," they told him, "we do."
29 Then he touched their eyes and said, "Because of your faith, it will happen."30 Then their eyes were opened, and they could see! Jesus sternly warned them, "Don't tell anyone about this."31 But instead, they went out and spread his fame all over the region.
32 When they left, a demon-possessed man who couldn't speak was brought to Jesus.33 So Jesus cast out the demon, and then the man began to speak. The crowds were amazed. "Nothing like this has ever happened in Israel!" they exclaimed.
34 But the Pharisees said, "He can cast out demons because he is empowered by the prince of demons."

matthew 9

i love references to the old testament! note here that the men call Jesus, what? the Son of David. this is the first of several times in matthew that people refer to Jesus by this title. why is this title so important, you may ask? the Son of David is the title of the messiah who will be from david's family line and restore the kingdom that will last forever (2 samuel 7:12-16). so to call someone the Son of David was a pretty big deal, in other words, you're saying that this is the man that is going to save the entire Israelite nation, the one that they've all been waiting for, their victor and savior that will free them from the roman empire. this name has big implications. not only is He called the Son of David but He does something that would happen in the messianic age, He heals the blind (isaiah 35:5).

i really like this part, too. i'm just looking at verse 28. notice that Jesus didn't invite them into the house. haha they just waltzed right on in! they came right after Him because they knew that they couldn't let Him get away. i'm completely sure what the jewish customs were back then but i'm still pretty sure that it's not polite to just run into someone's house. in other words, they ignored social norms to chase after this man. it doesn't remark this in matthew account, but i'm guessing Jesus was impressed with this act of faith and so He healed the men. Jesus tells them not to say anything and yet they go around spreading the word to everyone!

i'm just going to focus on the first part today. i just love the way Jesus acted and the way the men acted. here we see the men screaming out to Him by His name and we see that Jesus doesn't do anything then and there. it's only when these men follow Him into the where Jesus is staying that He does something! and i love the men's reaction after what happens, they just start going around and telling everyone about it, even after being told specifically not to! i think a lot of us resemble the men when they're just calling out to Jesus by name but don't follow through in actually following Him wherever He went. not to mention this men were blind so we know that it must have been pretty tough to do so. maybe sometimes God wants to see what our faith is made of, to push us to go a little bit further, to see if we're actually desperate for Him. for those who have other options, they would just say, "ah, it's not worth it! i'll find someone else who will help me or i'll just keep trying to help myself," instead of surrendering and following after Him.

so are you the person who only cries out to Jesus and expects Him to cater to you? or are you the person who runs after Him because you know that there's no other alternatives?

remembering desperation

2010-04-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

Jesus Heals in Response to Faith

18 As Jesus was saying this, the leader of a synagogue came and knelt before him. "My daughter has just died," he said, "but you can bring her back to life again if you just come and lay your hand on her."
19 So Jesus and his disciples got up and went with him.20 Just then a woman who had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding came up behind him. She touched the fringe of his robe,21 for she thought, "If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed."
22 Jesus turned around, and when he saw her he said,"Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well."And the woman was healed at that moment.
23 When Jesus arrived at the official's home, he saw the noisy crowd and heard the funeral music.24 "Get out!" he told them. "The girl isn't dead; she's only asleep." But the crowd laughed at him.25 After the crowd was put outside, however, Jesus went in and took the girl by the hand, and she stood up!26 The report of this miracle swept through the entire countryside.

matthew 9

the woman who was hemorrhaging for 12 years. man, i've read or heard about this story so many times that i'm just desensitized to it. i don't see the starkness and beauty of it the way that a new believer could. i don't see the miraculous healing and the life changing things that Jesus did for people. 12 years. 12 years of blood flowing from this woman. 12 years of rejection because of being ritually unclean. 12 years of not being able to go worship at the synagogue. 12 years of probably being passed up by any possible mate because of the ordeal she was going through. 12 years of not finding any solution. 12 years of brokenness, pain, and suffering. all for this moment. she has nothing to lose. she's tried everything. her only hope is Jesus. there's nowhere else she can go. she thinks to herself, "if i can just touch Him, i'll be healed!" wow. what faith. Jesus knew it, too. it's exactly what Jesus was looking for. it's exactly what Jesus is looking for. the purity of desperation.

i've talked about this before. but it's an amazing reminder of what type of heart Jesus is looking for. He wants people who are truly desperate for Him, people who have no other options, people who aren't just going to pass up on Him when something else comes up. He wants people who know that He's they're only hope. He wants true followers who aren't wishy-washy with their faith, people who put all their bets on Him, all their stock in Him. i have to admit that sometimes, or most of the time, i'm anything but desperate for Jesus. sometimes, i'd rather be watching tv, playing video games, editing photos than spending time with Him. i have ALTERNATIVES to spending time with Jesus. He's not my everything. He's not the center. honestly, the times when i feel desperate for Him is when i'm broken and the world falls down around me and i'm reminded that there's nothing that stands after life comes crushing everything in its path except Jesus, my rock. that's when i'm reminded of my desperation. my heart goes into reset and my perspective is back to where it should be. remembering that everything falls down, crumbles, decays in the end and the only One who stands is Jesus. i remember that i realistically don't have anything, i can't save anything, i can't keep anything. the only thing i can keep is Jesus. and He's above and beyond anything that i could invest in in this life.

throwing out the routines

2010-04-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

A Discussion about Fasting

14 One day the disciples of John the Baptist came to Jesus and asked him, "Why don't your disciples fasts like we do and the Pharisees do?" 15 Jesus replied, "Do wedding guests mourn while celebrating with the groom? Of course not. But someday the groom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. 16 "Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. 17 "And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved."

matthew 9

ok, i admit i had to look up some outside sources to help me understand this passage! but here it is! when we take everything into context here, Jesus is talking about, not how the moral laws would be abolished, but the ceremonies of the old covenant would be done away with because Jesus would soon fulfill them. the new way of living after Jesus takes the punishment for our sins and ultimately setting us right with God is going to be different from the old way of living for God. before, they had to do all these rituals and ceremonies to be made right with God, basically being obedient to the law. but the whole point of Jesus dying on the cross was so that we wouldn't have to do all these things that were impossible to do in the first place and He would fulfill those rituals and ceremonies once and for all!

the new way of living for God now is by simply letting Jesus into our hearts and letting Him change us from the inside out. oh snap!! so here's the question! what "rituals" or "ceremonies" do you feel you have to take part of or simply "do" to make yourself right with God? is it a prayer that you pray every time you mess up? is it doing something for someone else so that you feel you made up for whatever you did wrong?? we have to remember that we can't make ourselves right with God by these rituals or ceremonies. it's all by grace. you're forgiven when you just simply and genuinely want forgiveness. i think a lot of us trick ourselves into thinking that we have to follow little guidelines for ourselves to be the "good" christian. and sometimes we measure others to OUR standards. whether it's not cursing or giving money to the homeless because we think that it'll earn us some points with God. and honestly, we end up just making up new rituals and laws for ourselves and others as we forget about the grace of God! remember, it's not the things that you set out to DO, but it's a slow and sometimes frustrating process of learning how to simply BE.

mercy, not sacrifices

2010-04-20T06:30:00.000-07:00

Jesus Calls Matthew

9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector's booth. "Follow me and be my disciple," Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him.
10 Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners.11 But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with such scum?s"
12 When Jesus heard this, he said, "Healthy people don't need a doctor—sick people do."13 Then he added, "Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: `I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.'s For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

matthew 9

this is a very big passage. a lot of us know it. Jesus came to heal the sick, not the healthy. and the simple truth is, everybody's sick and everybody needs Jesus, it's just some of us don't admit it. some of us think that following Jesus is enough, as long as we don't truly let Him in and open ourselves up to Him. some people think that as long as they go to church and pray and read their bibles, that they're "healthy." maybe some of us think that if we just accept Him one time, then we'll be good forever and we won't have to do anything afterwards. well, the reality is that we have to continually open ourselves up to be changed by Him. it's not a one time thing. it's not a shallow thing. i think we'll always need Jesus to be our healer, i don't know if we're ever just fully "healthy" enough to live this life on our own. i don't think we were meant to. and i see a lot of people who think they're fine just because they call themselves christians and still have plenty of hurts bottled up inside of them that still affect them deeply. these people aren't dependent on Jesus, they're dependent on themselves. i think we've all been there and some of us still are, where we think we're self-sufficient. where we think we finally have it all figured out and we stop depending on God. and i think that's where it gets dangerous. when we stop depending on God and depending on ourselves again because we think we're "healed" up. that's when pride and sin come creeping right back in, when we stop leaning on Jesus. i know that it's happened to me before, and that's when i transformed from a sick patient who was in desperate need of a savior to a pharisee.

some of us may not think it, or we're so oblivious to it, but we might be pharisees. i think there's a lot of us out there who think we know more about God than a lot of people and act like we're better than people who don't go to church. there's a lot of self-righteous people out there, and i'll admit, i'm still struggling to get out of that mindset and attitude. for some reason, i get the feeling that i'm a lot less "sinful" than others so that makes me better. man, am i wrong. my righteousness and good deeds, compared to God's righteousness and goodness, are like dirty rags. i get proud of my accomplishments, i start boasting in myself instead of Jesus Christ. and i start looking down on people who don't do as much as me and that's straight up evil. it hardens my heart. bitterness and resentment build up. so when i come across this verse, my heart breaks, "i want you to show mercy, not sacrifices." sacrifices. deeds. routines. duties. i do a lot of this good stuff that should make me a good Christian, right? i mean, i go to church and sacrifice my sunday, or i go to wednesday bible study or prayer meeting, i do devotionals, i do all this good stuff! that's what He wants, right?? nope. He wants to see me show true, genuine mercy and compassion to people who need it. He doesn't want to see passing judgment on every single person. He wants me to be Christ-like. and what did Jesus do? He ate and fellowshipped with the sinners and the outcasts of society.

Jesus finishes out with saying that He came to call not the people who call themselves righteous, but those who KNOW they are sinners. so here are the questions. do you remember that you're a sinner, someone who just misses the mark? do you remember what that humble attitude was like? saying, "God, i'm not worthy to be forgiven or to receive your free grace." or have you turned into a pharisee, who overlooks his or her own sin and only points out others' flaws? do you think that you're "healed" up enough? have you stopped depending on Jesus? what are your sacrifices, routines, duties that you think "qualify" you or make you "good" enough for His love? have you been showing MERCY? have you been, instead of just doing things for God, letting Him change you from the inside out so you actually truly live out love?

inward, outward, beyond

2010-04-19T06:30:00.000-07:00

Jesus Heals a Paralyzed Man

1 Jesus climbed into a boat and went back across the lake to his own town.2 Some people brought to him a paralyzed man on a mat. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man,"Be encouraged, my child! Your sins are forgiven."
3 But some of the teachers of religious law said to themselves, "That's blasphemy! Does he think he's God?"
4 Jesus knews what they were thinking, so he asked them,"Why do you have such evil thoughts in your hearts?5 Is it easier to say `Your sins are forgiven,' or `Stand up and walk'?6 So I will prove to you that the Son of Mans has the authority on earth to forgive sins." Then Jesus turned to the paralyzed man and said, "Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!"
7 And the man jumped up and went home!8 Fear swept through the crowd as they saw this happen. And they praised God for sending a man with such great authority.

matthew 9

so putting everything in context, we acknowledge that in the past couple of passages, Jesus has been healing and performing a number of miracles. the people loved it until it affected them in a negative way, they had to give up something, the people in the country of the gadarenes didn't like that Jesus had cast demons into their pigs, resulting in the loss of the drive of their economy. instead of coming to Jesus and praising Him for getting rid of the demons, they ask Him to leave. now, this next part is another defining point in Jesus' ministry. for a while, Jesus was already tiptoeing the line with the pharisees, and they didn't have too big of a problem with Jesus, until now. Jesus tells the paralytic to be encouraged for His sins are forgiven. i'm guessing if you were a pharisee knowing and studying for years that only God forgives sins, your ears would perk up as well hearing this "man" was starting to do something that only God could do. now, to the religious leaders, Jesus wasn't just performing miracles, He was allegedly blaspheming. they couldn't stand it! they were absolutely furious that He would claim to have the same power to forgive sins as God, and in essence, claiming that He, Himself, was God.

Jesus knew what they were thinking and so asks them what is easier to do! what is easier to physically see? sins being forgiven or a man being able to walk knowing full well that he's a paralytic? to prove that He forgives sins and has authority on the earth, Jesus calls the man to stand up, pick up his mat, and go home! and he does! and the crowd praises God and affirms Jesus' authority.

so, here we see Jesus proving His divinity to the people, one of the many instances where we start to see who Jesus really is, more than just the Son of God, but God incarnate. so what's the bigger picture here? i think this is the most important part, that Jesus forgave the paralytic. but even Jesus asked this question Himself, "what's easier to see? sins being forgiven or a physical representation of that taking place?" and i guess we live in a christian society where it seems that the inward forgiving of sins is enough and it never really seems to be revealed in our lives. people never really see the divinity of Jesus through us, or even the divinity of the Father. and yes, to be forgiven for our sins is all good and beautiful, but to just have that and do nothing about it is the part that Jesus doesn't like. He wanted to show the authority He had on earth. we, as Christ followers, know that He has authority, but does the world see that in our lives?? so, Jesus' question is then given to us! "what's easier to see, thien? your sins that are forgiven inside of you? or how you start living in response to that??" whoa. i want the world to see the authority that Jesus has. i want everyone to see the power that He has to change lives. i want my friends and family to see that He's not just a God that changes inwardly and secretly, but changes our hearts so radically that it affects every aspect of our lives. let the world see the forgiveness of your sins through the way that you respond to it. let it show outwardly and beyond.

holding too tightly

2010-04-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

Jesus Heals Two Demon-Possessed Men

28 When Jesus arrived on the other side of the lake, in the region of the Gadarenes,s two men who were possessed by demons met him. They lived in a cemetery and were so violent that no one could go through that area.
29 They began screaming at him, "Why are you interfering with us, Son of God? Have you come here to torture us before God's appointed time?"
30 There happened to be a large herd of pigs feeding in the distance.31 So the demons begged, "If you cast us out, send us into that herd of pigs."
32 "All right, go!" Jesus commanded them. So the demons came out of the men and entered the pigs, and the whole herd plunged down the steep hillside into the lake and drowned in the water.
33 The herdsmen fled to the nearby town, telling everyone what happened to the demon-possessed men.34 Then the entire town came out to meet Jesus, but they begged him to go away and leave them alone.

matthew 8

found an awesome take on this on another blogger's site so i thought i'd share it here!

Matthew 8 is filled with miracles and healing: a man with leprosy, the faith of the centurion, Peter's mother-in-law, many demon-possessed people, and the calming of a storm. This was all well and good for the people, but in their minds the greatest test for Jesus was still to come.

At the tombs outside of the city, two demon-possessed men lived. They were so violent that no one could pass by them. The people were scared of the men...but the demons were more scared of Jesus. Before He even approached them, they started to argue and beg for Him to cast them into a nearby pigpen instead. Jesus agrees, and sends them into the pigs next door. They immediately ran into a lake and drowned every single one. Kind of an odd ending, if you ask me, but still incredible anyway. Jesus not only delivered the men, but the demons made them so angry that they drowned themselves just to be released and away from the Son of God. You would have thought that the people would fall all over themselves to just follow Jesus and be a part of that, right?

Nope...actually, they asked Him to leave town...immediately.

Wait a second...they asked Jesus, the Son of God, after all these miracles, to leave?

Yep.

Why?

They couldn't get past the loss of the pigs. Now, I understand in that time, being a livestock owner was part of everyday life, and the we don't know if the pigs belonged to just one man, or if it was kind of community pigpen where they all kept their piggies for eating or for sale. What we do know is that when those pigs took the dive into the lake and never came back out, everything changed. This Jesus that performed those many miracles now had touched them personally...and it cost them something. This miracle wasn't fun for them, and it affected their pocketbooks. Instead of understanding the cost of following Jesus, they begged Him to leave before He cost them anything else.

You know, we aren't that much different today. We all love to hear stories of miracles and healing and of great things going on, but when God asks for our talents, finances, and our time, we're quick to shut Him out and ask Him to leave us alone. We want to keep God at arm's length: close enough to call when we need help, but far enough that we don't have to invest anything in the relationship. That's not how it works. A relationship with God is just like any other...it involves time spent with Him and in His Word, talking and listening, and a commitment to stand with Him no matter the cost.

I know I'm holding on to some of my "piggies" a little too tightly, hoping that since I'm giving Him most of me, He won't ask for those things I treasure. Problem is, those are the "piggies" He wants the most, because that's where my heart is.

Here's hoping I can lose a little "pork" for Him today.

from Rob's Random Ramblings

the joy in Christ

2010-04-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

Jesus Calms the Storm

23 Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples.24 Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.25 The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
26 Jesus responded, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.
27 The disciples were amazed. "Who is this man?" they asked. "Even the winds and waves obey him!"

matthew 8

last night i had an amazing conversation with thuy. we were just talking about how scared we were about the future. and we know we shouldn't be but it creeps up on us sometimes, you know? she was sharing about her dream life and everything she wanted since she was a little girl and i shared what i wanted. then i realized that that was the point. we were only sharing about what we wanted. God was nowhere to be found in the picture, yeah, i would maybe be in full time ministry and she would be with me but we weren't even focused on that, we were focused on our comfort! hypocrite, i know! i finally got to the point where i started bawling my eyes out because i didn't know if she would still want to be with me if we didn't end up where she had always dreamed. and i came to the conclusion that i didn't care where i would end up, as long as i had her and God, i was golden. something i have to remember to put in my vows when i marry this girl. =] but i totally forgot about the joy that, as Christ followers, we should have! no matter what happens, there is hope and something to rejoice over. Jesus has conquered the world! if everything goes down the drain in this life, honestly, it's ok. because we're still blessed beyond imagination!! i'm blessed beyond my wildest dreams. i don't deserve anything that God gives to me freely. and i will forever be grateful for everything that i've received. i was telling thuy that if kids in africa or other third world countries can have something to smile about because they have the Gospel, then our lives should be able to be filled with laughter and joy living in a dinky, little apartment. we have it so good! and i guess this little anecdote goes into this passage as well. =]

honestly, i have so many instances where i'm one of the disciples who have such little faith in God. that's why i worry about the future. that's why i don't know if i should trust God to take care of me. that's why i feel like God has to take care of me to MY standards instead of surrendering to His. and then i remember. because He's the one who calms the winds and the waves. He's the one who is in charge. He won't let me drown. He won't let me be blown away. how could i ever doubt Him?? He loves me. He loves us. and it may not seem like that to a lot of people. but to us, who have the mind of Christ, who have the Holy Spirit, who have been changed by His love, it's a beautiful thing. =]

me or Jesus?

2010-04-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

The Cost of Following Jesus

18 When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he instructed his disciples to cross to the other side of the lake.
19 Then one of the teachers of religious law said to him, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go."
20 But Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Mans has no place even to lay his head."
21 Another of his disciples said, "Lord, first let me return home and bury my father."
22 But Jesus told him, "Follow me now. Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead.s"

matthew 8

i'm pretty sure that i've talked about this already, but it's always good to review! here we can see Jesus is not a big crowd person, as in crowds of people coming just to see His miracles. He has absolutely no problem when they come to hear His teaching, though, as we see in the story where He feeds the five thousand. and so because He'd rather not have people come to Him who are only looking for a show, He tells His disciples to cross to the other side of the lake. one of the religious teachers comes up to Him and says, "teacher! i will follow you wherever you go!" and Jesus gives Him a totally unexpected answer! you would think that Jesus would totally just say, "yeah! come along! the more, the merrier!" nope. He lets the guy know straight up that even foxes and birds have homes and places to hide and rest, but He Himself has no home on earth. in other words, following Jesus is no walk in the park. it's going to be a long and hard journey. He isn't some self-help book that solves all your life's problems and you'll never have to worry about them again. He frees us from sin but we still have to do some legwork as well! not that we do legwork to earn our salvation or anything, but living for Jesus means bearing the hate and persecution of the world, where there is always a mission, there are always people to be saved, there is always more to do until the Son of Man returns in glory.

i think by this time, Jesus had more than 12 disciples, which is contrary to what we usually thought of how many disciples Jesus had. Jesus had the main 12 and of the 12 He had a select few who were His closest friends. so another disciple, one that was an addition to the 12, asks Jesus if He can go home to bury his father first before continuing to follow Jesus. and Jesus replies, 'let the dead bury their own dead." now this may seem harsh but we have to look at the context of this. in Jewish culture, to bury your father actually means to stay with your family until your father passes away and you inherit his business. so in essence, this "disciple" is saying, "Jesus, let me live my life first, and then i'll live my life for you." and Jesus won't have it! He knows that living for Him is so much better than living any other way, and yet this disciple would rather live for himself first before living for Jesus. Jesus tells him to let the spiritually dead inherit the business, to inherit something that will not last forever, that will eventually pass away into nothingness. but let the spiritually alive follow the Son of God because they will inherit something so much bigger and better.

in all, Jesus doesn't necessarily mean to leave everything to follow Him. maybe He does mean that for some of us. maybe that means dropping everything and going on mission. but what Jesus is really saying here is that He wants us to drop anything that we put in front of Him. anything that we think is more important than Him. is it comfort that gets in the way from following Jesus? is it living the good life? would we rather live for ourselves first before we surrender everything to Him? is it a relationship? is it your own future? this is what Jesus is getting at. are you willing to leave what you value the most for Jesus? or is the case that He's the person you value the most so naturally, you could leave everything else? pray over it. am i going to be the person that picks myself over Jesus? or the person that trusts Jesus to take care of me and my loved ones?

serving and healing

2010-04-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

Jesus Heals Many People

14 When Jesus arrived at Peter's house, Peter's mother-in-law was sick in bed with a high fever.15 But when Jesus touched her hand, the fever left her. Then she got up and prepared a meal for him.
16 That evening many demon-possessed people were brought to Jesus. He cast out the evil spirits with a simple command, and he healed all the sick.17 This fulfilled the word of the Lord through the prophet Isaiah, who said,

"He took our sicknesses
and removed our diseases."

matthew 8

good morning at 6:30 in the morning! haha, here we go! totally touched last night by a friend sharing how God's been moving in His life even when he was pushing Him away. it was a beautiful time learning how much God continues to love us even when we turn away from Him! we ended up praying blessings and strength over his life and that God would continue to guide and lead Him and that our friend would simply follow.

alright, so this first part. for me, the past two posts have been a major focus on the faith of the people who come to Jesus and how they trust that only He can heal, satisfy, release them or their loved ones from sickness. and there is a big focus on who Jesus was and what He wanted from us. but here is an example of how we react after being healed. peter's mother-in-law doesn't just sit there and say, "thanks!" and chills out. Jesus' healing is so powerful and so quick that she gets right back up on her feet and starts serving Jesus! how do i react? how do all of us react when we realize that He's healed us of our brokenness?? do we just sit there and say, "thanks Jesus! that's so great!" and go back to our daily routines and our own lives? or are we so moved by what has happened that our lives are reoriented, our focuses are shifted, our purpose is now set on serving Jesus because of how He loves and takes away our sicknesses and brokenness? i want to be like peter's mother-in-law! so grateful that the only we she knows that she can repay Jesus is not only to thank Him, but to serve Him!! how many of us just say words to Jesus? promising to do things and never really following through? i want to be the person that is so grateful that his whole life is radically shifted because of what Jesus has done, because of the hope He's given me, because of how He's saved me from myself.

ok, part two! for me, this second part speaks about how Jesus heals. not only does He heal externally, the physical, but internally, what goes on in the heart that is affected by the demons and our own demons inside of us! this is an important point. that just because we're healed on the outside, it doesn't mean as much unless we're really healed from the inside out. do we think we'll really be better just because an external situation is changed? what really needs the mending? what really needs the healing? it's our hearts! it's all the scars and shame that has been built up for years and years that need to be taken care more than the outside physical scars. these internal hurts affect and change everything!!! it's not the physical ailments that affect the way we look at life and interact with people, it's where the heart is. someone can have a physical ailment and still be happy right? and someone can have the same sickness and be completely miserable! what's the difference between these two people? their hearts! two people can be living in a really bad situation and one is content and the other is cursing everything. if the stressor is removed, and both have better lives, there is the one who is still content while the other starts cursing everything again. why? because there's something so much deeper than the situation. it's more complicated than just getting rid of the sickness or situation. it's the inside that needs the most healing. i think that's a huge flag for us as christians, i know it is for me. so many times we help people with their physical needs, give a homeless person some money, help a friend out with a place to stay, but if we don't love on them by just being there for them and listening to them and helping them heal inside wounds by bringing Jesus into their lives, man, they're not really healed, are they?