worship

got to talk to a friend about God last night. there's something about talking about God that fills you with joy, you know? and sometimes, the only response after talking about how amazing, good, sacrificial, loving, merciful, gracious, giving, awesome He is simply worship. =]

the biggest thing about our talk last night was just about how the law brings awareness to sin. without the law, the moral code, we wouldn't really have a tangible standard we can measure our goodness by. something we can look at and see how close we are to being as holy as God is. the kicker is when we actually start looking at how we really compare to God and His holiness, we're way, way off. like, lightyears off. so off that the Bible even compares all of our good deeds as dirty rags, or to be graphic and illustrate the point dirty tampons, compared to God's glory and holiness!

i mean, we look at the ten commandments itself and we start failing at number one and it doesn't get much prettier after that! and it starts hitting us. if this is the standard that we have to live by to be saved, we're in a lot of trouble. i mean, this really sucks. how is anybody supposed to keep this up?? how is anybody able to really uphold this moral code, day in and day out, perfectly, without falter?? we're doomed, right? there's no possible way we can be saved now! it's over! done with! it's impossible!

enter Jesus. enter the perfect man. enter the sinless man. enter the saving God. into our sin, He broke out of heaven and crashed down into this weary place. in a desperate and hurting world, He began to live the perfect life so that one day, this life would then be put to death on a cross for our sake. spit on, rejected, beaten to a pulp, mutilated, humiliated, to take the punishment for our sins. where we couldn't uphold the law and were condemned to spend eternity separated from God, Jesus came in and sacrificed Himself so that we could be made righteous and blameless before the Holy God. this is the Gospel. this is the good news. we're not condemned anymore. we're not confined to our sin and our shameful condition. we're not bound down by the law but released by the blood of Jesus Christ. sin is no longer our burden because He's lifted it off of us with His scarred hands. thank goodness for Jesus. =]

i believe in Jesus and i follow Him not just because He loves me, not just because He gives me joy and peace, but ultimately because He saves me. He gives me salvation. He lets me in on eternity with God even though i've really done nothing to deserve it. even though i've failed miserably, He saved me. this shows that He loves me. this shows that He's merciful and full of grace. and because of my salvation, joy and peace are the fruits. i'm gentle and i'm kindhearted, i'm patient and faithful because He's saved me. this is my worship. the natural response to this kind of love is simply worship. =]

evidence and love

thank God for friendships that are stronger than pride and ego. i got in an argument with a friend last night. totally uncalled for on my part. it didn't need to turn out like that. when it was over i felt empty, like we didn't even get anywhere and our relationship was a little bit shaken because of it. it's not like either of us budged from where we stood before. we just became more entrenched in the view that we held so strongly. and the only thing that changed was the tension in the room, the heaviness of our hearts, and the burden on our shoulders, at least for mine anyway!

but thank God for something deeper than that. where other people would ignore it, move on, sweep it under the rug, we apologized to each other. thank goodness for a love that is bigger than ourselves. thank goodness that we have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, transforming us, showing our hearts the right way to go. i'm so glad that we apologized to each other and we both humbled ourselves. we know that our relationship is more important than the argument. in itself, this situation, our relationship, glorifies God and showcases Jesus. =]

i've been reading a lot of apologetics lately. like, a lot haha. and i thought about something, about how atheists would tell me that i can't trust christian writing because it's biased. that makes total sense! that's a valid argument. but i have to propose to them as well how they can trust atheistic writing or agnostic writing because that in itself is biased and starts from a different point! we start from the God's word and they start from man's word! same thing with the history of the world. pre-believers will suggest that our world is millions of years old due to the sedimentary rock layers, it just makes sense! right? well, that's if you start from that point! if you start from the Bible, if you believe that there was a flood, it makes total sense that there would be those sedimentary rock layers there! (http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/nab2/how-old-is-the-earth) (http://www.alwaysbeready.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=122&Itemid=105) keep in mind again that these are christian sources! the very sources that our atheistic friends say we shouldn't trust!!

it all depends on where you want to start! as a christian, i want to start from the Bible, because the world makes sense to me from there! as atheists, our friends will want to start from brilliant and out-of-the-box thinkers and that's fine! but as for us as christians, i want us to have solid ground to stand on when we explain to our friends why we believe what we believe! even if they don't understand sometimes, agree completely, or trust our sources (because it doesn't support what they believe and are entrenched in)! i want us to be sure that there is support for why we believe. we have good reasons, logically speaking, even if it doesn't match up with what they say! you don't have to be intellectually challenged to be a christian.

here's the point. no matter how much evidence and reasoning we provide for our faith, our atheist friends will want to refute it no matter how logical the argument may seem! because they're already sure of what they want to believe in and they'll find any way to have it line up with their belief system. we're the same way when they present things to us! therefore, evidence never really changes anyone's mind! we or they just try to come up with more research and reasons to support what we or they believe the next time we meet!

here's the kicker, we were never asked to bring people to God through evidence!! we bring people to God by showing God's love for them! by showcasing His patience, mercy, grace, and love in our selves to our friends. we overflow and overwhelm them in love that is illogical, stupid, out of this world, and purely nonsensical! that's how we win people over. not through war, blood, and the sword, but by the laying down of our own lives, our prides, and our statuses. and they're won over. God enters their brokenness, their hurt, their pain, their scars, their fear, through all the walls that they've built up around themselves. they let Him into their heart and surrender. they then start from the Bible. they then start from where God has come into their lives. the world makes more sense. much more than before. and i want them to have support for what they now believe. i want them to see the clues of God all throughout history. i want them to see how God has been waiting for them this entire time. =]

age

i always get really sad when i see older folks. i was hanging out at thuy's house with her family last night and saw her grandparents. her grandma recently had a stroke and so the muscles in her face have been on the fritz. so she has one side of her face lifted up and the other side drooping down. she said that it happened instantly. that when she was eating a week ago and the rice started falling out of her mouth. she went into the restroom to see what was up and she saw her face in the state it is now. now if it was me, i would freak out. i wouldn't have any idea what was wrong. i would feel so helpless. not knowing what was going on with me. i would feel self-conscious. i would feel so scared.

and i thought to myself we're all going to be there someday. 60 years, 70 years down the line. i wondered to myself, would i be that old man who reminisced on these days. the days of my youth? the days of my passion? the days when the world was ready to be taken over? would i regret my life and what i spent doing with it? i get scared that one day i would go to sleep with this face i'm typing with now and wake up one morning to find gray hair and wrinkles. i would wake up to a body that's falling apart, suffering from arthritis, a weak back and knees. it made me really sad. it made me scared. i don't want to grow old. sometimes, i think i'm going to be young forever. flash, and i'm 30. flash again, i'm 50. flash, i'm on my deathbed.

we all get old. we all get weaker. we all age. we all fade. eventually, we leave this place.

but then i think about it again. and i have hope. that these weak bodies bound by gravity and oxygen aren't the end for us. as christians, we have a hope beyond these bodies. thank God there's more to look forward to beyond this life! this life is so short! there just isn't enough time!

isn't enough time to tell people about the hope of Jesus Christ! there isn't enough time to let people in on the master plan of the redemption of mankind! there isn't enough time to let people know that they are loved and longed for! that becomes my hope as well.

i don't want to be a complacent old man. i don't want to be that man who is sad and reminisces about his youth. i want to be filled with passion 70 years from now. i want to be filled with passion and a heart for the lost. i want to be filled with the Spirit still and let people know that they are loved. i will still have a purpose for living. i still want to be saving people for Jesus. my work is never done here on this earth. until Jesus comes back, my purpose in this life is to love as many people as i can, to tell them about Jesus, and to teach them how to do the same. =]

questions

man, praise God! prayers that i've been praying for a while are being answered. i've been praying for two friends for a while and recently, God has been really tugging on their hearts. they're saying things that they've never said before, feeling like they've never felt before, acknowledging God in their lives like never before. i've prayed so hard and so long for these friends to really fall in love with God and become sold out for Him. i see an actual transformation in the way that they speak and share. it's so exciting!

we also got to pray over a friend last night. we had the opportunity to pray that he would be filled with courage and boldness in speaking truth in love to people and also making peace with another person.

we also went through amos last night with the worship team and it was powerful. we were drawing out so much more than i thought we would! it was really cool to get everyone's interpretations in about what God is saying to us through amos. here are some questions we left with:

do we bring idols into our worship? do we worship not only God? what is it that's sharing His throne in our lives?

do we think extra prayer will cover us? when we mess up, do we do extra good things because we think it will make up for what we've done? do we think religion saves us? do we see this in our church? do we see people doing good things because they believe it saves them?

are we willing to step out in faith and take on the role of amos? to speak truth in love? knowing full well that the raw truth is rarely popular?

is God trying to get our attention? is He throwing out signs that He wants us to come back to Him?

do we remember who He is in our lives? do we remember that He's the Lord? that He should be the one running our lives? do we remember that He's the Lord God of Heaven's Armies and could call down His angels any time He wants to but chooses not to? do we remember that He is the mighty God who wants to have a relationship with these people, with us? do we remember?

it was a really cool study last night. God was present. =]

i can't wait for this weekend for the team to share these stories with the congregation and lead them in worship out of vulnerability! God's moving!

not afraid to love

just read the psalms and came across this verse:

"be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!"

that's from psalm 31, verse 24. for some reason, i winced when reading that. i had this feeling of failure. that i worry so much about what people think of me. i worry so much about rejection sometimes that i shy away from the Gospel. i hide the good news because i fear what people will brand me as. my heart doesn't take courage. i become a coward lots of times. i don't acknowledge the one i love. it's like not admitting i have a girlfriend when she's right there. that's how it feels! and in another sense, i'm unloving to the people i don't share the Gospel with!

then i thought to myself. "i'm doing this out of my own strength again!" i shouldn't be focusing so much on what people think of me! i shouldn't be so fixated on my weakness! but i should be holding onto His strength in me. His love in me! when i think about that, sharing about God becomes easy! it's not a chore or another task to do. it becomes about sharing life and love with someone else. it doesn't become a condescending sermon. but it becomes a conversation about what God is doing in my life, how He loves me, and how He wants to have a relationship with the other person as well! =]

my heart takes courage in the fact that He is with me always. it takes courage in the fact that i'm not sharing about a religion, but a relationship. i'm not sharing about a bunch of rules, but about a life of decisions motivated and driven by love. i'm not just sharing the Gospel. i'm sharing the story of love and redemption and restoration. i'm simply loving people when i do this. and i am not afraid to love. =]

the way

i'm so glad that we're not just about having fun. i hope people see that too. that being a christian isn't just about hanging out, eating late, laughing, having a good time, etc. but it's so much more.

it's a lifestyle. a calling. a mission. a purpose. it's the way we drive. the way we buy coffee. the way we pay rent. the way we study. the way we work. the way we talk. the way we give. the way we stop to talk and share life with someone on the street. the way we have compassion on those who deserve none. it's the way we share our darkest secrets and at the same time receive prayer, encouragement, and support after sharing them. it's the way we approach each other when we have beefs with one another. the way we put love and unity first before ourselves. the way myself turns into ourselves. it's the way our actions and words are motivated by abundant, overwhelming, and overflowing love that comes from God and not ourselves. it's the way we call upon His name when we're hurting. it's the way we know and feel comfort and safety because He's our rock, shield, and fortress. it's the way we suffer together, cry together, love together, pull through together, share life together. it's the way we that even if we have nothing common, we are brothers and sisters in Christ. all bought by the same blood. all bought by the same scars. all redeemed by one man. all loved by one man. it's the way we want our lives to scream out JESUS. Jesus is the reason we live. the reason we're here. the reason why we're the way we are. =]

these are just some of the things about the way we are that set us apart. this is what makes us salt and light of the world. this is what the church is. different. radical. out of the ordinary. this is God's people. this is the way of the christians. =]

identity

thank God for identity. even if all this time, i was pretending to be someone else and i didn't know who the real "me" was anymore, i would know that God wants to change that person to be more like Him anyway. my identity. my name. my heart. my life. is found in Jesus. it's not what i've earned for myself. it's not the personality traits that i choose to portray to other people. it's Jesus living in me, transforming me, taking my hand and pulling me along, making me into someone that resembles Him. that's who i want to be. that's who i strive to be. so that when people look at me, they don't see me anymore, but they see Christ in me.

how do i know that it's Him that's transforming me and not my own will? well, in order for Him to make me more and more like Him, He makes me do a bunch of things i never want to do. going out of my comfort zone. risking rejection. risking humiliation. risking status. is it for me? no. i don't think i do these things so i look better. or so that any benefit would come to me. but that people would see me and give praise to God. it's all for Him. i don't want any of the credit. that's how i know that it's Him that's transforming me. i know i'm a selfish person. i'm self-seeking. i want fame. i want glory. i want all the appreciation and recognition and praise that i deserve for doing things well. but for me to deny that for myself and give all that and point all of it back to God shows that it can't be me. i want to give God the credit He deserves for all that He's done for me.

my life is His and His alone. i give up the right to run my life to earn the privilege to have my life run by God. =]