a life that's worth living

sometimes spiritual truths come in devotions. sometimes it comes through the wonderful people that you have in your life. sometimes it comes through strangers that you run into on the street. sometimes it comes through nature. sometimes it comes through tall, manmade structures. sometimes it comes through an accident, a spill, an unintentional blunder. and sometimes it comes as you're gasping for air, dropping boulders of sweat from your forehead, feet and legs numb from exhaustion.

today, i was reminded. why do i live? why do i exist? what is my purpose? what is my calling? i was reminded of a sermon that mike erie gave months ago. it changed up the way that i looked at life. the way i looked at sin. when we're sinning. when we're letting the wrong people influence us. when we're using drugs and shooting up. when we're drinking like there's no tomorrow. when we're looking at pornography. when we're sleeping around. when we're slandering, gossiping, deliberately holding onto bitterness and resentment. when we're willingly not forgiving people out of spite. let's NOT call that living for Christ. let's say it like it is. let's not sugarcoat it. let's not decorate with flowery terms and nice words. let's be real. that's just living for ourselves.

when people look at my life, what would they say? "wow, thien has a passion that i explain!" "he has a love that unlike anything that i've ever seen before!" "he has grace that is so undeserved!" "he's living a life that's worth living!" or would they simply say, "he's just like me." "he's playing it safe." "he says he's living for Christ but in reality, he's just living for himself."

sin. falling short of the mark. maybe sometimes, we're just too lax about it. thinking that we can conquer it on our own. maybe not even giving it much thought anymore. what does God's love letter to us say? repent. turn. around. and bolt. run as if your life depended on it. run towards Jesus. some of us haven't been running. if anything, we've been walking casually and occasionally taking a glance back at it.

no more. i'm asking God to fill me up again. Holy Spirit fall into my life. come crashing into me. fill my heart and my mind. let my actions be rooted in who You are and who You want me to be. let me be a beacon of light. change my heart, not my situation. push me out of my comfort zone. push me to depend more on You. i'm tired of feeling scared and running away from challenges. i'm tired of playing it safe. i'm tired of living "comfortably."

i step aside. i give you my life. for You to move. do what You want to do.