first and last

yesterday i found out on biblegateway.com that they have a lent reading plan. i was like, "hey, i'm going through matthew right now!" so i just jumped right on board and it helps a lot! it's trying to take us through all the gospels in preparation of easter. i've learned that lent is a time of deep prayer and preparation of our hearts for the death of Jesus. i've decided not to fast either. i've noticed that when a lot of people fast, mainly myself, i get distracted from the real reason that i'm fasting in the first place. i go, "oh man! i don't get to eat or drink whatever!" and i totally miss the point. if i were to fast, i would want to do it the real way. to give up something that i could not live without and to pray fervently and depend desperately on God to get me through. to know what it felt like to be a people so desperate for something and awaiting for their Messiah. and when He finally comes. we are free. free to celebrate and rejoice because He's the one that we've been waiting for! i've decided to actually spend more time just fervently praying this year, to really invite God into my life, and prepare my heart for easter. reading through matthew today, this is what stuck out to me:

1 -2 "God's kingdom is like an estate manager who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. They agreed on a wage of a dollar a day, and went to work. ^{3 -5}"Later, about nine o'clock, the manager saw some other men hanging around the town square unemployed. He told them to go to work in his vineyard and he would pay them a fair wage. They went. ^{5 -6}"He did the same thing at noon, and again at three o'clock. At five o'clock he went back and found still others standing around. He said, 'Why are you standing around all day doing nothing?' ⁷"They said, 'Because no one hired us.' "He told them to go to work in his vineyard. ⁸"When the day's work was over, the owner of the vineyard instructed his foreman, 'Call the workers in and pay them their wages. Start with the last hired and go on to the first.' ^{9 -12}"Those hired at five o'clock came up and were each given a dollar. When those who were hired first saw that, they assumed they would get far more. But they got the same, each of them one dollar. Taking the dollar, they groused angrily to the manager, 'These last workers put in only one easy hour, and you just made them equal to us, who slaved all day under a scorching sun.' ^{13 -15}"He replied to the one speaking for the rest, 'Friend, I haven't been unfair. We agreed on the wage of a dollar, didn't we? So take it and go. I decided to give to the one who came last the same as you. Can't I do what I want with my own money? Are you going to get stingy because I am generous?' ¹⁶"Here it is again, the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first."

Matthew 20

we should not be jealous or angry because we've been Christians longer than someone else and they are blessed just as we are. we should rejoice. we should take comfort in knowing that our God is a just and fair God and He doesn't owe anything to anyone. we also have to be careful to not think that if we believe at the last hour intentionally, God will take us in with no question. if we have heard the message but we say that "Because no one hired us" and we're going about living our lives for ourselves believing that we can just accept God anytime, we've got it all wrong. don't wait to accept God. i know it sounds kind of harsh but that's the truth of it. He's not something that you just put on a shelf and say, "I'll get to you later." He's offering an invitation to a life of unconditional love and mercy. something that the world can't offer. it's just something that we shouldn't take lightly. and finally, we have to remember that the first will be last, and the last will be first. we will all be blessed equally regardless of when we were adopted in.