age

i always get really sad when i see older folks. i was hanging out at thuy's house with her family last night and saw her grandparents. her grandma recently had a stroke and so the muscles in her face have been on the fritz. so she has one side of her face lifted up and the other side drooping down. she said that it happened instantly. that when she was eating a week ago and the rice started falling out of her mouth. she went into the restroom to see what was up and she saw her face in the state it is now. now if it was me, i would freak out. i wouldn't have any idea what was wrong. i would feel so helpless. not knowing what was going on with me. i would feel self-conscious. i would feel so scared.

and i thought to myself we're all going to be there someday. 60 years, 70 years down the line. i wondered to myself, would i be that old man who reminisced on these days. the days of my youth? the days of my passion? the days when the world was ready to be taken over? would i regret my life and what i spent doing with it? i get scared that one day i would go to sleep with this face i'm typing with now and wake up one morning to find gray hair and wrinkles. i would wake up to a body that's falling apart, suffering from arthritis, a weak back and knees. it made me really sad. it made me scared. i don't want to grow old. sometimes, i think i'm going to be young forever. flash, and i'm 30. flash again, i'm 50. flash, i'm on my deathbed.

we all get old. we all get weaker. we all age. we all fade. eventually, we leave this place.

but then i think about it again. and i have hope. that these weak bodies bound by gravity and oxygen aren't the end for us. as christians, we have a hope beyond these bodies. thank God there's more to look forward to beyond this life! this life is so short! there just isn't enough time!

isn't enough time to tell people about the hope of Jesus Christ! there isn't enough time to let people in on the master plan of the redemption of mankind! there isn't enough time to let people know that they are loved and longed for! that becomes my hope as well.

i don't want to be a complacent old man. i don't want to be that man who is sad and reminisces about his youth. i want to be filled with passion 70 years from now. i want to be filled with passion and a heart for the lost. i want to be filled with the Spirit still and let people know that they are loved. i will still have a purpose for living. i still want to be saving people for Jesus. my work is never done here on this earth. until Jesus comes back, my purpose in this life is to love as many people as i can, to tell them about Jesus, and to teach them how to do the same. =]