the process

last night, i got to catch up with a really amazing friend. we were able to air out frustrations, struggles, just heavy stuff that was on our hearts. we had church. praise God for that opportunity.

it was refreshing to have that again. to have church with someone one on one. to talk about life and God and everything inbetween. i want to make that a priority this year. in my head, i just keep on remembering that we're all made for relationship. for intimate connections with other people. that's how we grow. how we thrive. where we get recharged and filled up. i was telling my friend that it's not so much that deep conversations drain us and take a lot out of us, it actually does the reverse! it fills us up! compared to shallow relationships and just having fun all the time. having no intimate connections at all with people and settling for the small talk and nonsense conversations becomes more draining in the end. there's no substance. no meaning. no digging deeper to why someone is feeling the way they're feeling. no deeply convicting or revealing things that come out about yourself and the person you're sharing that conversation with. no room for God to move.

three things were made clear to me from the conversation that i had last night. that this year is really going to be about family for me. as in spending time with them, breaking down barriers with them, loving them through my actions. this year's also going to be about humility in all the areas of my life including worship, friendships, relationship, and wherever else God wants to move in me. and finally, this year will be challenging me to step out in faith. to really put my trust in God and let Him have the reins in my life. i really don't know where He'll take me but i want to follow. these themes have been coming up a lot lately through conversations and through situations. last night, God seemed to really impress them on my heart. it's nice knowing that He's still working in my life.

i'm still in the process of letting Him take over. where there's more of Him in my life and less of me. i was telling my friend that i was thankful that we get to start early in trying to become better men for our families and our friends. some people don't make this realization until it's too late. i'm just thankful that He's started on me already. it's kind of a bummer but also kind of a comfort to know that He's going to be working on my heart for the rest of my life. to make me a better person. a better friend. a better brother. a better son, father, husband, and any role that i'm going to be playing in the future. thank God for that. and i know that it's going to be a painful process. a process of letting go, starting over, messing up, trying again. it's going to be exhausting. it's going to be frustrating. it's going to be rewarding. it's going to be worth it. =]

here's to family, humility, and stepping out in faith. =]