been learning more and more to die to myself. to really put my loved ones before me. to actually put their needs before mine. just last night, thuy was feeling sick so i stayed home with her and watched seek week from the live stream. that is a big deal. haha it shouldn't be, but it is. most of the time, i would put my needs before hers. but i was still able to worship and listen to mike erre's teaching through a laptop, and God met us there haha. it's going to take time and constant reminders but i want to be a man of sacrifice, not just to my friends and acquaintances, but to the ones who see me the most, my family!
it was so cool to hear what mike was teaching on last night! simply that God works in our weakness. breaking the cliche that he won't give us more than we can handle. time and time again in the Bible, we see story after story of unqualified people in over their heads. so when they succeeded, there was no other explanation than God was with them! examples of these guys were solomon, the man who had hundreds of wives and concubines who would write about love and fidelity, david, who was a murderer and adulterer who wrote the psalms and taught us how to worship, and paul, the christian-killer and super jew who was sent to share Jesus with the non-jews! God continually uses the people who just don't have it together to play a huge part in His story!
God works in our weaknesses so that we have no room to boast. i feel like God is really laying that on me now. my worship leading, my singing, my guitar playing. all my idols. my position, my respect, my glory. God is stripping away and letting me know that i am capable only through His power. that He could use a broken and desperate man like me to do amazing things for the kingdom. and i'm just brought back to mephibosheth. the cripple who is invited into the king's court to sit next to the king at the table. what do i have to offer, God? i'm a man who is struggling with so much sin and guilt and fear, what can you possibly do with me? and God tells me that i get to have a seat right next to Him and He tells me that He is going to use me to shame the things that are wise and the things that are strong. wow. =]
God uses the weak. God uses the foolish. God uses the broken hearted. why? because these people are honest and real. they know how weak they are and they know that only God, only His power, can use them to do amazing things because they can't do it on their own. and not just humanly amazing things, but out-of-this-world, miraculous things. =]
the other thing that i've been thinking about and i should be lifting up in prayer is community. i need to pray for community now. i need to pray that i can have people that i can love and serve and who in return can do the same for me. i was just reading this verse in 1 peter 1 and was just really convicted that i need to love and care for my church, "you were cleanses from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. love each other deeply with all your heart." who are my brothers and sisters? who am i directing my deep love towards? i know i'm doing my best to do that with my family, with thuy, the kids at my work, and my coworkers, but what about my church? i need to meet with them and love them deeply. be there for them, invest in them, encourage them, receive from them.
God, help me to be a man of sacrifice. to be a man that remembers that You work in my weakness. to be a man that deeply loves his community. use me for Your kingdom, God. help me to keep my eyes on You. and not to be ignorant to the world and what's going on, but to remember to always view everything with the comfort that my hope and salvation are already in you. =]
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